Living by Faith

I've Moved!

2009-04-25T04:40:00.000-07:00

Thank you for the honor of dropping by my blog. I pray something in the archive will bless you.

However, I wanted to let you know that I've recently moved my blog to wordpress. You can find new writings at livingbyfaithblog.wordpress.com.

I sit in prayer as I write, and I pray that the Lord will lead you to the right blog to communicate what he has for you today, here, or in the new one. I am only his humble conduit.

Embrace and Experience EVERYTHING

2008-09-17T11:46:00.001-07:00

This is a prayer I seem to pray for others, but fail to live for myself. I love to embrace things I like and love to experience wonderful things. But what about when life goes terribly wrong? Are we as eager to embrace difficulty and trial? Can we find joy, even as we experience pain?

This is the first I've written in many, many months. Various trials in life have stiffled my ability to get words to paper. Yet in the stillness of my new and longer commute (yeah - didn't want that either), there seems a lot God is speaking to me and its time to start sharing these messages again.

My "book" (uh huh) was entitled, "Learning to be Content in a Live You Didn't Choose". God's got a lot to teach each of us on this topic. Its easy to be content when things are going well. But can one find contentment when EVERYTHING in life is appearing a polar opposite to what you'd hope and planned?

Someone reminded me many months ago... "We get so frustrated when all we've hoped and dreamed seems to be slipping from our grasp. But God has promised more than we can ask or imagine. Why then, are we so determined to be limited by our own imaginations?"

Can you grow in trust of God enough, to really be satisfied with ANYTHING he allows into your life? Will you believe him enough to embrace everything, not just the good stuff? Will you open your heart and mind to experience everything, be fully in it, each moment, without trying to escape or control it?

Chew on these... and stay tuned...

How to Survive Spiritual Attack: Love and Obey

2008-07-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love." John 15:9-10

God is the vine. We are the branches. We need him for nourishment. Without him, we can do no good thing, both in this world and for the next, especially as difficult times strain our natural human capabilities. God is a gardener, who prunes us, so that we can bear good fruit. If we fail to bear fruit, we are of no use to him. We must abide.

This is what we've covered so far in John 15. Today, I pick up in verse 9. Verse 9 and 10 speak specifically to how we abide. We love and we obey God's commands.

The Truth about Spiritual Warfare

Spiritual warfare is part of our normal spiritual experience. It is with us each day. However, I believe there are times and circumstances when the attacks seem to be more intense or frequent, usually when the enemy feels we're more dangerous to destruction he's trying to achieve. It is love that helps us overcome this. It is obedience that keeps us safe.

We went to see The Dark Knight Friday. Its a very good movie, but I couldn't escape the depths of evil in The Joker. He reaped destruction for the pure fun of it. He wasn't motivated by money, maybe not even power. He was not out for revenge or a cause. He simply wanted to destroy. Its been a while since I've seen such a vivid portrayal on the big screen of how I envision Satan.

I feel I'm surrounded by an extraordinary amount of spiritual warfare lately. 1 Peter 5:8-9 seems to keep coming up. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."

Be Proactive in Training

In love and obedience, we have to be proactive. We have to be alert enough to see the enemy prowling and we must be self-controlled enough, in our every day experiences and behaviors, that when the attacks occur, the ability to do our part, love and obey, is our very nature.

Jesus is, as always, our example. Though God himself, he did not seek equality with the Father. He stayed close to the Father's love and obeyed him... even when it was hard, even when it didn't make sense, even when it would cost him his life.

When life is difficult, the enemy loves to entice to the wrong things for which to sustain us. Maybe its intellect. Maybe its people. Maybe its a vice or addiction. With so much going on in my life and those around me right now, I need to hold VERY close to the vine. I want to do that properly. I ask God, "How do I do that?" Same answer. "Love and obey."

Be Intentional in Removing All Barriers

Hebrews 12:1 says we have to throw off everything that hinders. God has revealed to me this week that what hinders me from closeness to him, are all the things I look to for comfort instead of him. I may do a whole blog on this, but for now, my point is... if God loves us, more than we can ask or imagine, and we know to survive, we need to remain in his love, we need to be obedient in throwing off everything that entangles, so that in those trials of life, we can stand firm against the enemy's attacks.

I spent a good portion of the week running through each "idol" I've erected in my life. I need to vanquish them. I specifically use the word "vanquish" because this is not just about bad habits; it is truly a spiritual battle that must be fought with spiritual weapons. God's given me his Word, our one offensive weapon (Eph 6:17), so that I know his love and have instructions on how to obey. The enemy is helpless when we insist on loving each other and obeying God's word. God will give me strength to do it, if I ask... but the first step is mine. I have to want to love and obey.

Will You Accept a Challenge?

Where might there be a wall between you and God today? Is it in understanding his love? Is it in your failure to love others? Are you living in disobedience? Are you harboring idols?

If you want to bear fruit, good fruit, if want to survive hard times, examine this, and get back to the vine. Apart from the vine, you'll only stay lost.

Father God, help me to feel your love today. Help me to love today. May I never give the enemy a foothold by holding onto pain, bitterness, selfishness, or anger in interpersonal relationships. Soften my heart and guide my way in navigating conflict.

Lord, help me to resist temptation. I don't want anything in between you and me, not a habit, a sin, a person, a desire, an idol... nothing. Help me to be alert and see the enemy's attacks so I can fight with the weapons you've given me. May I grow in knowledge of your word, so I have it ready as I need it.

I pray for all these reading it, that they may feel the same... and that you do the same, for them. Help them feel your love, love others, and obey your commands. AMEN.

The Brokenhearted

2008-07-11T18:08:00.000-07:00

As I was writing my piece on pruning, a writer friend asked me to review her devotional on the brokenhearted. Its core verse sticks with me.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” - Psalm 147:3

When we look at pruning (the topic of my last blog, if you missed it), it occurs because there is something in us that needs to be cut in order to achieve God’s will in us. These things normally represent sin patterns, bad behaviors that inhibit us. But there are far more difficult circumstances, of no doing of our own, that God would use to mold us and others through our witness.

So Many Questions

Rarely do we understand these things. They are extremely painful and in a worldly sense, seem to prove of no good purpose. I think of those around me struggling with a lot of “Why?”s. A serviceman with a family is killed, a job is lost, a child mistreated, health dramatically compromised. “Why God?!”

I think of my own times of broken heartedness. They’ve all been about the loss of something precious. I've asked “Why?” thousands of times. I ask God “Why?” on many issues still. But the answers don’t matter.

We cannot understand God’s ways all the time, maybe not even most of the time. Nonetheless, we have his promises and we have to believe him. Again I say, we have to know our God and hold to that truth.

But He is Close

Scripture (above) says that God heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. I think though more precious to me is this verse:

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

To be honest, in God’s economy, I’m not sure what healing means. I don’t know what binding up wounds means. I know plenty who’ve never been healed and/or walk with wounds every day.

I do know though what it means that God is close. I know what it means, that he will come to the rescue of those crushed in spirit. I’ve experienced it! I’ve experienced it more than once.

I was driving home tonight, dealing with some of my own broken heartedness and a truly special song came on the radio. It’s called “Be Still” by Storyside B. The refrain chocked me up.

“When I feel like caving in, my heart, my soul is wearing thin, I just want to give up and nothing seems at all to add up. Can you hear my, Lord? My face is on the floor. Its then you whisper in my ear. Be still and know that I am here. We are not alone.”

Hold Promises Tight

I love Moses’ words to Joshua: “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deut 31:8

This is a promise to all of us. It’s innate in God’s character and his love for us. He will NOT leave you. He is close to the brokenhearted. He will not forsake you. Because of this, you don’t have to be afraid. You can fight discouragement.

We know the familiar verse, Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

The word “all” is another promise. It’s not some things, even most things, it’s ALL things. Does this mean we’ll always get our way? Get our prayers answered as we hope? Sadly, heck no. But it is a promise that God works everything, all our struggles, all our pain, the broken heartedness, for good.

I encourage the broken hearted to read all of Romans 12. It talks how we are alive in the spirit and should not focus on this world. It says our present sufferings are nothing compared to what God will do through them. It says we are more than conquerors, because God is for us, not against us.

Jesus says that in this world we will have trouble (John 16:33). Yup. You only need to be alive to get that one. But we need to remember just after that, he reminds us, that he’s conquered this world.

The Fruit of the Brokenhearted

Though often frustrating, it’s true, that God does the most powerful things, the most brilliant, amazing work, through desperate trials and heartache. I have never learned more than through these times. I’ve never seen God glorified more than watching him work in and through me at these times or others in the moments of their distress. I’ve seen my trials and those of others, spur on yet others to tremendous growth and good works. We don’t need all the answers; we just need to remember this.

Are you brokenhearted today? Oh how God loves you and will use this. Your circumstances might suck. But in all his love for you, he promises to not waste it and do things through it you can’t even begin to imagine. Oh dear brothers and sisters, God will strut his stuff in getting you and others through your pain. It is a chance for you to minister even greater and produce more beautiful fruit for the kingdom, than you ever could have produced any other way. Its a hard task... and you probably wish he'd asked someone else. But - Will you hold tight and believe him for that... for those promises?

I pray you do. And I pray that God, the God of all Comforts, will feel as close to you as all he promised, every step of the way.

Father God, we have so many questions. I’m not going to ask anymore. I’m going to trust you. I’m going to trust your methods, your decisions, and your plan. I pray you enable me to be a witness, no matter my circumstance. Strengthen me. If possible, be gracious to me and help me envision the bigger picture. But even if you can't, may I be faithful anyway.

Lord, be close to the broken hearted today. Come to their aid. You may choose not to change their circumstance. In fact, it could even get worse. Nonetheless, we know you promise to be there. You will provide the comfort, the love, the peace, to get through. You will use it in huge ways. Help us to not lose sight of this, in spite of our very natural and understandable humanness. Help us, Jesus. AMEN.

When Pruning Hurts

2008-07-10T19:55:00.000-07:00

My nieces are at that age where they question everything. “Why? Why?” is common from their mouths. When I think of it though, I can be a bit of a three year old when talking to God.

“God, why can’t I have this?” “Why isn’t working this out?” “God, this isn’t fair – Why that for them and I’m stuck this?” “I want to!” "Please fix this."

Ah… discipline. God has to weed our childish ways out of us. So often we want from the wrong motives or we want, because in our hearts, we’ve made something an idol. God will not be an enabler in setting up idols against himself. Logical, I suppose.

In fact, God is far more apt to put us through a process of pruning to remove all the wrong thinking, bad behaviors, idol worship, and unhealthy living from our lives. Half the time we don’t realize the detriment these things are doing to us. Fortunately, he does and isn’t about to let us get away with anything.

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” John 15:1-2

Several years ago, I helped my dad prune some bushes in the front yard. They were pretty bad off, with a lot of dead branches and even the beginnings of some disease. If there were any hopes of them surviving, I was going to have to trim them back pretty far.

As I clipped away, I began to feel guilty and speak to the plant. “I’m so sorry I have to cut off so much. I just have to in order to save you.” I trimmed so far, the bush just looked sad. Yet, it had to be done.

The more I cut, the worse felt… until I got it. This is God with us.

All of the things that pull us away from Him and/or hurt us, have to be cut away. Some times, it only takes a gentle pruning. But in some cases, he has to remove entire branches, that fail to produce fruit. Branches, that if left unattended, can damage the entire plant (me). The more gangrenous the sin in our lives, the more deeply he’ll need to cut. Deep pruning hurts.

God doesn’t like to see me hurt, but he knows that he must prune me, to make me the godly women he envisions. He's doing it to save me... from myself. He wants me to bear amazing fruit, not small and wimpy fruit. The properly pruned plant, bears far more beautiful and savory fruit than the plant left unattended.

I take an honest look at myself. There are some simple areas in my life that could use some gentle pruning. They’re areas of my life, that are not at huge risk, but could use a trim, to enable even greater growth and fruit. However, there other areas of my life, thought patterns, desires, habits, ways of dealing with certain issues, people, that may soon require dramatic cutting if I don’t get a handle on them. Some may already be at that stage and I should be prepared for the process, even willing no matter how hard it is, for the good of me as God’s plant. Its going to hurt, but it will be very worth it, to see the end result.

How about you? Are you currently being pruned? Believe God that its out of his love. Are there areas in your life that may need a trim? Beware. Take action before deep cutting is necessary.

Before I conclude, I'd be remiss if I didn't make clear that not all hardship, pain, and suffering, is pruning. Pruning is about cutting out the junk in us. Clearly, God will use all things for our good and to his glory (Romans 8:12), but we know that not all bad is the result of errors or poor decisions we make. That's important to understand. Examine today, what in you may require a prune. Tomorrow, we'll talk about other challenges of life the gardener oversees.

Father God, I know that its out of your great love for me that you trim back everything in me that doesn't bear fruit, so that the strong parts of me may be built up to grow tremendous fruit. I may not like the pruning process. It may hurt quite a bit. But I am willingly allow it... in fact ask you for it. I trust you Lord. I pray each of us grows in trust of you, in such a way that we're willing to be pruned in order to be who you have called us to be. AMEN.

Abide in Me

2008-07-09T16:46:00.001-07:00

If you were asked what God wants from you, what would you say?

I believe he wants our hearts. He wants to be in relationship with us.

As I continue to ask God to reveal himself and as I stop to listen to themes, there’s a scripture passage that seems to come up, time and time again. It’s familiar, but worth examining repeatedly. Over the next week, I’ll share with you some of how God is speaking through John 15:1-17.

Today, I focus on verses 4-8 and the word “remain”.

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”

The King James version translates remain as “abide”. Webster’s defines abide as “bear patiently” or “remain stable”. To me it means, hold tightly, rely on, trust.

Both verse 4 and 5 say that if we remain in him (God) we will bear much fruit. Galatians 5:22-23 says that this “fruit” is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Anyone who seeks good character, seeks these attributes for themselves.

Why Abide?

On some level and in normal circumstances, we can do ok, out of our own effort. Yet, our own life experiences have shown us, in ourselves and others, that these things are short lived in difficult situations. Is it not all the more important to display these traits in hard times?

The key then is remaining in God. Both verse 4 and 5 say without remaining in God, we can do nothing. In fact, it says it twice! Repetition likely means its an important concept to grasp. You may dispute this, but I at least believe it means we can do nothing of eternal significance without God and the little worldly significance we can provide, wavers with our circumstances, emotions, hormones, health, etc.

He is the vine and we are a branch. The vine feeds the branch. Can you imagine any fruit trying to grow on its own without proper nourishment from the vine?

I love vineyards, so I’ve seen a lot of vines. The parent vine is big and strong. It’s like an artery of life. The branches are more fragile. They're important as where the fruit is affixed, but they are thin and can easily break off, killing the fruit.

When the winds of life come upon us, our ability to produce this fruit on our own is diminished. It says we will wither and be rendered so helpless, worthless, that we might as well be thrown in the fire. But with God, anything is possible.

If we remain in him, we can ask for anything, especially these bits of positive character, and he’ll provide. He wants us to exhibit this character so he might show himself to the world as he pours though us. As his workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), we reveal who his is.

Application

As I wrestle with so many things right now, I asked God: “What do I do?”

He answered: “Keep doing what you’re doing. Remember who I am. Remind others of who I am. Hold tight to me. “

He asked me to abide. No matter how difficult, not matter what life brings, abide. That’s what I’ll do.

Father God, help me to abide in you. I know above all else you want my heart. You want me to seek your face (Jeremiah 29:13). You want me to look to you for wisdom (James 1:5). You want me to trust you (Hebrews 11:6). No matter my circumstances, may I always remember to stay close to you. You are the vine and I am a branch. Separated from you, I know I can do nothing.

I pray for all those reading this, that they will understand your love for them (Ephesians 3:18). I pray they will understand that more than anything, you just want their hearts. You want to care for them, like a careful gardener nurtures its prized rose. May these choose to abide in you. AMEN

Sharing Scripture on Service at Chiu/Ignacio Wedding

2008-07-07T21:04:00.000-07:00

What a truly cool weekend to watch two wonderful people get married. Talk about blessings! These two met at the wedding of an older sibling and then fell in love long distance... MD to China! (Charissa was studing Chinese abroad)

One of the neatest things about them them, is not only their commitment to each other, but to serving the world. I love how so many of my friends are completely sold out committed to fighting poverty and injustice in the world. I'm blow away how many are heading out on significant international projects in the next three months! Wild.

Anyway... all this in mind, Herb and Charissa asked me to not only read scripture, but share some thoughts on service as it relates to their marriage. This is what I wrote and shared...

"Herb and Charissa have asked me to share with you some scripture and a bit about something very important to them, and that’s service. Service has always been very much a part of their lives individually, and now, something they hold dear as a couple.

When we think of typical wedding scripture, we might think of Genesis and its words on God setting up the institution so that Adam would have a helper. Or we think of the verses in Ecclesiastes that talk about two being better than one and the cord of three strands, husband, wife, and God. We think of Ephesians instructing a husband to leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife. In Corinthians we get instructions on how to love. Herb and Charissa cherish these verses. But they know that you know them too, and want you to know they want their marriage to be far more than just these things.

Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Herb and Charissa know they are God’s workmanship, beautifully and wonderfully made, and that God has called them together to do good works as a team.

Herb and Charissa’s marriage will be a wonderful opportunity for them to fulfill God’s purposes for their lives, their calling to service, together. Together, as a couple they want to help fight poverty and injustice in this world. There’s so much, and God allows us to be part of the solution through sending us out. They are excited to see how God might use them together, to be his hands and feet in the world.

Service can mean a lot of things. We can be called to give of our time, our money, our possessions, our hearts, our talents or gifts. He’s equipped each of us with certain tools to serve, and he asks each of us to use those tools in various ways. Throughout their lives, Herb and Charissa will seek God to determine what he’s asking of them by way of service, moment by moment.
Whatever God asks, they want to respond generously. They know that God has given them so much and they want to use what they have been given to help a hurting world. Their thanks to God just overflows.

2 Corinthians 9:11 reads “You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us, your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.”

Even in the monetary ebbs and flows of life, we are always rich. Rich often simply means the blessings of love, such as you too, Herb and Charissa, have for each other. Generously sharing your love alone can make quite an impact in the world. We know it’s already made a lot of impact on all of us.

For those of us who believe Jesus as Lord, service should be an important attribute of all our lives. As we strive to be more like Jesus, we do as he modeled. Mark 10:45 says… “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Herb and Charissa believe that Jesus is God. He came to earth to save us. He came to earth to serve. If he can humble himself to make his primary focus serving others, shouldn’t we?

I can think of few other institutions in this world, as beautiful and powerful as marriage. And I can think of few better motivations in this world as wonderful, than the desire to wholeheartedly serve others. In this, Herb and Charissa, your marriage will be greatly blessed.

Herb and Charissa, I am honored that you asked me to share this part of your heart with all your family and friends. We will always cheer you on in your endeavors."

Finding Joy by Knowing God

2008-07-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

I woke this morning contemplating joy. Joy isn't about circumstance, which makes it quite different than happiness. The imagery of those praising God in spite of dire trials is fixed in my head.

“And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.” 2 Timothy 1:11-12

God often allows his most faithful to be attacked, because he knows they will prove faithful, and in that, their witness will forward the kingdom in ways nothing else can. He knows that they know who he is and will stand firm in his name. Oh how that can bless believer and unbeliever alike!

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.” Psalm 28:7

Sweet readers, like in scripture, the people I know sold out to Jesus fill every walk of life. Some are quite powerful , successful ,and brilliant. They are the world’s strong and yet they profess their hope, their core strength, is Jesus. Others are more timid, yet do great things in Jesus name, all to show that anyone can be used by God. We can all know God in deeper ways if we so choose and find joy and strength.

Do You Want to Know Him?

Your joy is only limited to your knowledge of God. Whether you’ve been a believer for 20 years or you aren’t sure you believe ANY of this, your ability to know God is only limited by your willingness.

“For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” Romans 1:20

We’d see God all around us, if we’d open our eyes. But for those moments we’re blind, we have scripture. In scripture, he too reveals himself. Scripture is God’s words and that’s powerful!

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

God has also revealed himself through his son (Luke 10:22). Yet, so many deny him yet today, being fooled of this world. Even those of us that know him, often find it convenient to ignore him. And we wonder why we don’t see truth? We question the lack of joy we experience?

Unveil Your Eyes

‘‘For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe.” 1 Corinthians 1:21

I was always an honors student. I have an Ivy-league education. I’m a darn good consultant. But who cares? If I rely on my own intellect, worldly philosophy, or psychology, I will be limited in seeing God through the manners and methods of man. But can man really capture God in all his essence?

“Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.” 1 Corinthians 1:20-25

Earlier this week I wrote a challenge: invite God to reveal himself. What he has revealed to me is blowing my mind. I pray he’s likewise revealing to each of you. If he’s not, I worry as to if it’s a calloused heart. Bold of me to say, maybe even mean, but accurate as pertaining to scripture.

Isaiah 6:10, John 12: 39-40, and several others speak to this. The world has calloused our hearts, so that we can neither see with our eyes nor understand with our hearts. For if we understood we’d certainly turn to God. Again, this is certainly true of the unbeliever, but believers, beware. Though salvation is yours, your ability to experience joy, especially in time of trouble, may depend on understanding this.

What Holds Us Back?

In Exodus 33, Moses wanted to see God in all his glory. God allowed him to only see his back, because seeing all of him would be too much. No one can behold the full glory of the Lord and live.

I know there have been times that I’ve feared seeking the Lord, because his shining on me might reveal something ugly in my heart. A part of me may have to die, after such encounter. I may have to let go of preconceived notions, selfishness, old ways of thinking , bad habits I adore. How about you? Could this be holding you back? God doesn't demand change to come to him... ever. But in coming to him, everything changes. You can't help but change after really experiencing him.

We often are blind because we don't want to see. We hold back from wanting the truth (even when we profess we do) because of what that truth might mean. Some would say we see what we want to see. I also believe we can't see what we refuse to.

Coming Full Circle

I don’t like my writing to be as a rant. Somehow though I risk this is, yet it just might be because it’s that important. There are terribly hard things that will come our way in this world. There are terribly painful things that will fall on those we love. If you want to be able to stand and praise, no matter what happens, you better know your God. Someone may need you to stand and praise with them, and you better be ready, with no doubt, no fear. I know the one who calls my name. Do you? Are you ready?

Father God, we let joy allude us because we don’t know you. We don’t trust your ways, your character, so we’re tossed like shifting waves. Remove the scales from our eyes today. Show us your glory and let it impact us. We want truth. We want your strength. And we want to be part of your hope for a lost world. AMEN

Will You Believe?

2008-07-03T13:45:00.000-07:00

(this one's a long one, but i hope you'll find it worth it!)

Mmmm... How I love Wimbledon. I miss it and wish I were there now. Last year a friend and I went. We arrived with no tickets but queued up and hoped for the best. They ran out of wrist bands just in front of us. We were so disappointed.

Feeling we had nothing to lose, we began to pray. Seems silly to pray for tickets, but what the heck? Then, we just decided to believe. We knew we would get tickets to exactly the court we wanted (Court 2).

We were almost surprised when we arrived at the ticket counter and they told us there was nothing left. So surprised, that I kept asking if she was sure (much to her annoyance). We really believed God would deliver those tickets!

I believe God is real, creator and sovereign over the universe.

Jesus: "And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." John 14:13-24

Just then a man entered the booth with “obstructed view” tickets for Court 2 and asked if we wanted two. We jumped with glee, grabbed the tickets, and head out to seats that were in no way obstructed. We'd believed God and he delivered.

Being Diligent In Prayer

Yes, this is somewhat of a silly story with all there is to pray for. But apparently, this prayer was within God's will because he answered it. We’d later find the reason to be the HUGE lesson he wanted to teach us. God loves to use the things we love, to make us mature and complete.

For the remainder of the summer, and fall, and winter, and now... I'd deal with various struggles. I'd look to God in prayer, but sometimes was filled with doubt as to if he was even listening. God doesn't like it when I doubt. :) Time and again I'd hear, "Remember the Wimbledon tickets? If I listened then and delivered something so inconsequential, do you really think I'd fail to show up when its really important? Don't you realize how I love you?!"

I believe God loves us more than we can comprehend and longs for us to speak our hearts to him.

"Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 55:24

Sporting tickets, parking spots, they're all little. Even how to deal with a coworker, or a significant other, or other responsibilities, they're all manageable. Once in a while though, we face trials so overwhelming, we can't imagine how God will fix it. All the odds seem against the outcome we desire. And yet he wants us to believe, remember his character, remember his power, and keep hoping.

"Lord! Help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24

"Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him." Romans 4:18

"I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:23-24

God is especially pleased when we praise and pray together. Beyond all we're asking, it grows and binds us, as people, as family.

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:19-20

When life is painful, God wants us to BOLDLY come to him. He, in all his splendor and power and might, allows little ol' us into his throne room to ask. He wants us to sit at his feet and believe the impossible. How great is our God who is personal enough to allow us to speak to him and present requests!

I believe God can perform even miracles if he so chooses.

The miracles of the bible are endless. The old and barren had children. Circumstances changed. Kingdoms were conquered with small stones, shouts, and prayers. The sick were healed. The death brought back to life!

Many will say that miracles today have ceased. I don’t agree. I think God is bigger than we can imagine. Miracles may not be normative, but my friends, BELIEVE and see what God might do, just to strut his stuff because you had faith!

Think about who you’re calling on!

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
Psalm 121:1-3

Hezekiah was given 15 more years (2 Kings 20) because he called on God, reminding God of his wholehearted devotion. He actually believed and changed God’s mind! Jacob wrestled with God until he got his blessing (Genesis 32).

"The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him." Exodus 15:2

Moses says this right after God parted the Red Sea. Moses couldn't see a way out, but God performed a miracle!

What will you ask for?

Standing Firm in Unanswered Prayer

What happens though, when God doesn't deliver your miracle? How will you react? Will you still love him? Will you still trust him?

I've seen people go through some pretty painful things, as prayers were left unanswered. Some people have impressed me though. When all the world fell apart, when things were taken away, loved one’s destroyed, I’d watch them, hands held high and thanking God for just being him! What a witness!

I believe God is good and trusthworthy, even when we don't get our way. I believe he has a higher plan for our suffering.

The mark of a true disciple, of true devotion to God, is the ability to pray your little heart out, but at the end of the day, surrender and trust. We humbly realize he knows more than us and if he doesn't answer our heart's cry, its because he has a better plan. He's going to do even greater things through going another way. He will be more glorified and we will be more blessed. He's not trying to spite us; he loves us far too much to allow pain for no good purpose. Silly people, if you think otherwise, that's just the enemy messin' with your head. Tell him to go away and remember the truth of who God is. Your God is mighty to save and he loves you!

(Do you know who God is? Have you forgotten? Get in the bible and read John, Genesis and Psalms. You'll remember... or if you don't know... you'll learn.)

Can you still praise him in the tough times? We must! How can we ask good things of God and yet not be ok when he has to do what he knows is right, knowing the bigger picture?

Job’s wife said he should curse God. Job said “No way!” (paraphrased)

Habakkuk wrote this when God told him he'd have to allow Israel into Babylonian captivity to fulfill a long term plan:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior." Habakkuk 3:17-18

No matter your circumstance, how will you relate to God today? I’m going to hope all hopes, pray all prayers, but above all, praise his name, no matter what. You in?

Father God, I praise you with all my soul. As scripture says, my heart longs, even faints for you. You are mighty! You are faithful! You are perfect. You love us for no reason at all and overflow blessings to us we don’t deserve. You are full of mercy and grace. You are our protector, our guide. I’ll sing of you in the morning and the night. None is like you. God, in difficult times, help us to pray hard… and praise hard, no matter what you deliver. You are good. Your ways are right. Your Word powerful. May I prove as faithful as you. AMEN.

Are You Listening?

2008-07-01T05:40:00.000-07:00

I love themes. I love to learn through themes. The world is full of opinions and thoughts, ideas, and there's a lot to digest. But I find when we see similar themes exposed through various interactions and circumstances in life, those we need to pay attention to. Maybe I'm just simple. :)

I love when God uses a lot of different people saying the same thing to make himself clear. He may bring a friend, a co worker, even someone who doesn't know him the same as you... he may take a pastor's message, a scripture verse, a song... and wrap it all up in one theme. Its a message from him.

When I feel a little spiritually ADD, I find the best thing is to simply put myself in a position to receive a lot of inputs... such as the above. My brain seems to process these inputs into those themes I can digest.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:2-8

This is this weeks theme. With so much on my mind, everything, everyone, if just pointing me to ask God what he thinks, to ask for his help. So simple... but is this something we often simply forget to do? Sometimes. We crave answers and try to figure everything out. Yet, God is just waiting for the simple words "explain this to me" or "what should i do?" or "will you help me?".

I statused yesterday on Facebook that I felt confused in 12 directions on at least 3 different issues. Oh how sweet this morning has been to get some clarity by looking at the themes of inputs from the last 24 hours(though I'm quite late for work!).

These were the answers I heard:

1) Had to do with my writing and the future of it. The answer: Just write. Don't think about tomorrow. Don't worry. Just keep doing what you've been doing and let the future unfold any way it may. Both w/writing and the new job.

2) Confidential. The answer: Pray and trust me (God). Praise me (God) in spite of anything that happens. Remember you don't have the whole picture and I am huge and am going to do amazing things, even if it seems hard and not look like you hope. Do not lose hope and don't give up on me. Remember I am God.

3) Confidential. The answer: Step back, pray, and trust me (God). Know that I have a plan and you don't need to figure it out. You don't need the answers today. Keep your eyes fixed on me. Don't move too fast towards or away from anything or anyone. Live in the day to day with all and enjoy. I'll unfold the right thing at the right time and you will be amazed and pleased.

I don't know the pangs on your heart today, but I have the feeling that for some of them, the same answers above apply to you. Whether a career challenge, a trial, a heart cry, any number of issues, the themes are clear.

Will you ask these questions today? Will you put yourself in a posture to receive lots of information so God might reveal a theme? I pray you will.

Will You Dare Five Minutes to Know God and Yourself Better?

2008-06-29T09:19:00.001-07:00

The last two weeks have be a whirlwind of new information and emotion. I find the need to simplify to process it all or I fear I’ll run from God overwhelmed.

My housemate and I were speaking yesterday on perceptions of God. We discussed how different people view God and how that shapes their understanding of life. Can all these perceptions be at least partially true? Might there at least be a few different slants to consider?

I’m certain you have people in your life that you love so dearly but who just see God differently than you. It’s not that you want to change them, b/c they wouldn’t be so precious to you if you didn’t already love them for who they are. But for those of you who truly believe the truth of Christ, you long for them to see God as you do. You want them to know this friend, this Lord of your life with whom you are so in love and whose love you feel with such realism.

Jessica expressed, “If only those people would spend five minutes a day for a month asking God to reveal himself as he chooses, he’d rock their world. God always answers those prayers.”

That would indeed be a powerful thing. If you are reading this and you do not know Jesus in a personal way and are even the slightest bit curious, it would be an interesting exercise. Even if through our friendship, it’s just in trying to understand me better, what an experience it could be to invite God in, five minutes a day for a month, and see how he might reveal himself. Open your hearts and let him show you whatever he chooses.

Then it occurred to me though. Am I so wise that I fully understand all there is about God? I too must be willing to undergo the same exercise. What might God reveal to me about himself over the next month?

Those of you believers have come to understand him through scripture, which is the right way to learn about him. But are you allowing the Holy Spirit to have its way with you and show you amazing and unsearchable things? Maybe the unbelieving world still has a bit to teach us on how big God can be if we’re willing to open our minds. I know we do this subtly, but have we ceased to be intentional in asking him to show us the truth of himself? Are you still asking God each day to reveal who he is so we might understand to the best of our ability?

Already this exercise in my life has revealed some truth. I began this blog confessing that I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed due to several circumstances of current life. I feel so overwhelmed that routine devotionals or bible study just cause my head to swim. And yet, in asking God this simple question, he began to reveal himself. He reminded me that he’s given me many gifts and I do have choices. A friend was right in telling me something similar this week. Yes, I must remember God as sovereign and Lord, but sometimes he wants us to use what he’s already given us to move forward at our choosing. We agonize over if we’re doing the “right thing” and “within his will” but he may just be whispering “child, stop stressing and just do SOMETHING”. He also reminded me that he is my Abba, my father, who has a great plan for me in all areas of my life and I don’t need to be worried or sad. All things work out as they’re supposed to and if that’s true… there’s no need for such things.

This blog contains no scripture (unlike my others), just thoughts. But that’s kind of the point. Scripture is VERY important but also is simply prayer. The creator of the universe wants to talk to you!

Will you, believer or non-believer alike, try a month of five minutes and see what God may do? I dare you!

Forgiving Ourselves, Pt 2 (Forgiving My Sins)

2008-03-19T17:33:00.001-07:00

In my last blog, I talked about forgiving ourselves in regard to mistakes. I’d like to pick up talking about something far more sensitive – forgiving ourselves when we’ve fallen into blatant sin.

When I began to write on forgiving ourselves about a month ago, I struggled on what I would say on this topic. By God’s grace, though we all sin, I had nothing recent of which I was ashamed. Oh how quickly we can fall! I hope to walk you through this by being a bit vulnerable myself.

All Have Sinned and Fall Short (Romans 3:22-23)

Though we don’t like to acknowledge it, sin is real. There is such a thing as right and wrong. On many matters, God is very clear; there is no gray. Bad behavior, or sin, is everywhere and the consequences are obvious in our homes, our work, all over our society. It is sin that breaks up relationships. It is sin that causes pain. But it is sin from which Jesus died to free us.

I was shocked by how quickly hurt and longing can cause us to fall to our own depravity. Our flesh is so weak. We don’t necessarily set out to sin. I think we sin because we don’t believe God and we think something good, fun, pleasurable, is being held back from us. Or in pain or frustration, we lash out, in anger, or to numb. Maybe God even let’s us fall some times, so we remember that we are vulnerable and have to stand on guard. Just when we think we have it all sorted, the enemy attacks. He knows our soft spots and will push on them viciously. We always have a choice; God always has a way out. But when caught unprepared, we too often succumb.

Three weeks ago, I fell. Some of you might see what happened as no big deal. Others would be surprised. Regardless, I know I grieved my Heavenly Father in the choices I made, the things I said and did. The enemy found a big weak spot and attacked. I’m not sure I even tried that hard to resist. I feel like a hypocrite, defaming my witness and maybe even hurting others. I felt ashamed and brutally beat myself up for days.

Seeking Forgiveness (Repentance)

Thing is, I asked for forgiveness within hours, and as the Lord promises to forgive any who ask, I know he forgave me then. It took far longer to forgive myself for being so stupid. I realized this too is of the enemy. He wanted me to feel ashamed and in that, hide from God. He wanted me to feel unworthy of God’s love and grace, and ill suited for the ministry I was to serve in that weekend. So often the enemy tricks us into viewing what we’ve done as unforgivable and the consequences beyond repair. That’s so not true.

The beauty of God’s grace is that he loves us and wants a relationship with us, no matter how small or big or ugly our transgressions have been. There is nothing we could ever do beyond his forgiveness, because he’s so desperate to keep us close. We just have to ask.

God called David a man after his own heart, and yet, he had weaknesses. In 2 Samuel 12, David not only committed adultery, but had the woman’s husband killed to cover it up. He tried to convince himself it was no big deal, but at Nathan’s confrontation, he realized how truly wrong he had been.

In Psalm 51 he writes: “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge…”

God forgave David. He restored him and in fact, continued his lineage through this relationship, all the way to Jesus. God promises to forgive us too, if we ask. He won’t even remember them!

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1John 1:9

"For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." Jeremiah 31:34b; Hebrews 8:12

There is only one condition; we have to repent honestly. Jesus, in John 8, clearly says to the woman caught in adultery: “Go and sin no more.”

Repentance is to truly turn from our sin and do all we can to flee it in the future. If we jump right back in, it’s like we’re spitting in God’s face. The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 6:1: “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?” NO! Paul explicitly told the Romans, that they should not take advantage of God, thinking they can continue to sin, so they might experience more grace.

God’s Restoration (Reconciliation)

A “holy sorrow” is grieving our sins so that we learn and don’t act out again. It’s like protection. If you burn your hand, you won’t place it so quickly on the stove again. But shame is not what God wants us to experience. I’m thankful he’s teaching me this, because I believe many of you need to hear this. God loves you, no matter what you’ve done. You are not out of his grasp.

Unfortunately, there may be significant consequences of our sin. Abraham impregnated his wife’s maidservant, being impatient with God. Those descendants to this day are the people who rise up against Israel. Though pregnancy is an easy example, the same is true for far more than sexual sin. Our sin can do a lot of damage. And yet, God is the author of second chances and is well known for rising up beauty from ashes. So many stories could I tell of dear friends who’ve suffered grave initial consequences of sin, yet today, are blown away by God’s love and graciousness. He’s brought blessing out of it. God can redeem anything.

I often identify closely with the Apostle Peter. He loved the Lord so much, yet consistently said and did all sorts of silly things. He was passionate and yet a bit naïve. And then, when given the ultimate test of his loyalty, denied Jesus three times. Each time we sin, it’s like we’re denying Jesus – who he is and what he did for us.

Like he did with Peter though, Jesus is eager to restore and help us move forward. In John 21, after the resurrection, Jesus appears on the shore while the disciples are fishing. Peter is so excited to see him he jumps out of the boat and swims to land. They cook breakfast and Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves him. Each time Peter responds yes. Jesus cancelled out his transgressions and moved forward still trusting Peter with a great task, to build the church. Peter goes on to do this and because an amazing writer and evangelist. His sin was merely a temporary set-back that once he repented, he learned from and moved on.

We have to forgive ourselves, let go of the shame, and let God love us again. We must ask him for his comfort and healing. We must discover what in us made us sin in the first place, so we can cut it off at the pass the next time around. By understanding our own weaknesses, wants, and sensitivities, we can protect ourselves against many future failings. We move forward. God can still use us, even in mighty ways, if we return to his sovereignty.

One last mention though before I close. There are some temptations, some sin struggles, so great that we cannot conquer them alone. Many of these begin to form additions that will consume us if we don’t get help. If you feel you are falling into the same sin over and over again, confess to a trustworthy friend and seek assistance. Don’t get stuck in shame.

Psalm 103:11-13 reads as follows: “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;” What a beautiful reminder and promise!

That said, as my closing prayer, I’d like to finish with a song by Casting Crowns:

Here I am Lord and I'm drowning
In your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where you found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

I know you've cast my sins as far
As the East is from the West
And I stand before you now as
As though I've never sinned but today
I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way

Refrain:
Jesus can you show me
Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again
Your truth Is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way

Refrain

I know you've washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel
But by the truth your word reveals
I'm not holding on to you
But your holding on to me
Your holding on to me

Jesus, you know just how far
The East is from the West
I don't have to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

Forgiving Ourselves – Part I (Forgiving My Mistakes)

2008-03-15T13:17:00.000-07:00

My past two blogs I spoke on forgiving others and forgiving God. Oddly though, it’s often far more difficult for us to forgive ourselves. Certainly, at least in some measure or by some definition, we want to make good choices, treat people well, and live a life of which we’re proud. When we realize we’ve missed that mark, through intention or mistake, we’re very hard on ourselves.

When looking at your past, are you able to let things go, learn, and move on… or are you quite harsh with yourself, possibly long after both God and others have forgiven you? Do you beat yourself up, question your choices, or even fail to make some, for fear you’ll choose wrong? We need to change these negative behaviors, negative self-talk, or fear-prompted actions (or failure to act) if we want to live the abundant life. We have to forgive ourselves. God wants better for us.

Too Many Decisions!

It amazes me how many decisions there are for us to make as adults. Though I may indulge in wise counsel, at the end of the day, as a single person, it’s up to me. I have to sort things about work, the house, relationships, money, travel, and about a thousand other matters. It can be overwhelming. I long for that partner to help me decide, but today, it’s just me and God.

Those of us deeply walking with the Lord have learned to seek him in all things. We pray, ask for wisdom and guidance, and long for his direction. And then at some point, we do the best we can to leap in obedience, or at least toward where we perceive he is directing.

Sometimes, however, I let doubt cripple me. I fear I didn’t hear God right. Worry either paralyzes me into no decision at all or causes me to agonize that I’ve messed up. That’s no way to live.

God wants us to ask, and then either leap or wait as instructed. We must learn to be more secure in God’s love for us. If we’re really seeking, do we think he’ll be so cruel as to let us mistakenly walk off a cliff? I simply ask you this: Are you really seeking him? Let’s assume you are (if not, that’s a whole different conversation). Are you then being obedient in how you think he’s leading you (either to move or be still)? Then you can be free to know you are in his will. Don’t doubt.

”I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.” Proverbs 8:17

”You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.” James 1:5-8
“For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?” Matthew 7:8-10

Using Our Mistakes to Maneuver Us

It’s broken my heart at times, to watch godly men and women devastated over a decision. They sought the Lord and obeyed, yet it didn’t play out as they thought. They begin to beat themselves up, thinking they screwed up. But think about this, maybe God maneuvers us into his will.

Let’s look at a passage in the Bible where God did exactly that. As I’ll only write snippets here, I encourage you to look at the whole passage. It’s Genesis 27, the story of Isaac blessing Jacob.

In Hebrew tradition, a father would bestow a special blessing on his eldest son. This was a mark of succession in some sense, as if the patriarch was passing on his rule to the next generation.

Isaac, as you may recall, had two sons, twins: Esau and Jacob. As Isaac’s health was failing, he instructed Esau, his slightly elder son, to go on a hunt, bring back good meat, and prepare it. Then, he would give Esau his blessing. Esau did as he was told.

However, Rebekah, Isaac’s wife, overhears and devises a plan to trick Isaac into blessing Jacob instead. Rebekah had heard from God that Jacob was to lead not Esau. Well, whether God had asked Rebekah’s help or she was meddling, is of debate. (How often to we think God needs our “help” to work out his plan when we’re told to wait?). But either way, she took it into her hands to help the situation along. She indeed trick’s Isaac.

Jacob goes into his father and claims to be Esau. Isaac questions him on a few things, trying to assure that it is Esau (Isaac had gone blind so couldn’t see his son). Jacob convinces him and Isaac gives Esau’s birthright and blessing to Jacob.

Soon thereafter, Esau returns. He discovers what has happened, cries out bitterly, and begs his father to correct the situation. But Isaac leaves things as they are:

“But he (Isaac) said, "Your brother came deceitfully and took your blessing."

Esau said, "Isn't he rightly named Jacob? He has deceived me these two times: He took my birthright, and now he's taken my blessing!"

Then he asked, "Haven't you reserved any blessing for me?"

Isaac answered Esau, "I have made him lord over you and have made all his relatives his servants, and I have sustained him with grain and new wine. So what can I possibly do for you, my son?"

Esau said to his father, "Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father!" Then Esau wept aloud.

His father Isaac answered him, "Your dwelling will be away from the earth's richness, away from the dew of heaven above. You will live by the sword and you will serve your brother. But when you grow restless, you will throw his yoke from off your neck."” Genesis 27:35-40

What a horrible outcome! Isaac is deceived. He makes a mistake. And he refuses to correct it?! In my worldly mind, this seems all wrong. Or is it?

Let’s look at Hebrews 11. Many affectionately called this the “Hall of Faith”. For those of you less familiar, this passage in scripture speaks to some of the most faithful throughout the entire Bible. They are to be our witnesses, our role models, by what they’ve done in faith.

Verse 20 says this of Isaac: “By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.”

Hmmm… What Isaac did, how he was tricked and made a mistake, isn’t considered a problem at all. In fact, he’s being commended for his faith for sticking with that decision!

God says his ways are not our ways. Isaac was called faithful, because he trusted God in the situation. Without faith, it is impossible to please God. God was maneuvering Isaac, to work out His plan, and in faith, Isaac went with it. Faith is trusting God, no matter what, and he did.

You see, Isaac trusted that God knew this was going to happen and He still had everything under control. Either it was all part of God’s plan from the beginning (just working out a bit strange) or knowing what Isaac would do, God had already accommodated. Isaac wasn’t about to correct the situation b/c he believed in God’s sovereignty. Either it was as it was meant to be, or God would divinely fix it. He knew he’d done all in his power to bestow the blessing on the right guy… and it just didn’t work out. Isaac was smart. Jacob was the right guy to take this nation forward and God knew it. God used Isaac to make it happen.

I think on moments in my life where I’ve made the best decision I could at the time. The choice was what I believed was God’s will. And yet, it seemed in the short term, everything played out all wrong! Did I make the wrong choice? Did I completely mess it all up? Have I broken it beyond repair? Did I not hear God? The enemy would love to put all kinds of doubts into our minds. He wants us to doubt God and doubt ourselves. However, each time, in God’s great faithfulness, God used it to do something great and wonderful. He might have gotten me from Point A to Point B more directly, but quite possibly, I had to go the long way, to be truly prepared for Point B!

Are you staying pliable enough to let God maneuver you? Don’t jump in too quickly to try to fix every thing. Your fixing it might in fact break what God has planned! There is always a chance that God needs you to think something is one way, to get you to act. Once you’re in that place, where God needs to be, he may cause you to believe something else, to get you to the next place. Without believing this or that, you may not have ended up where you needed to be otherwise. I see God maneuvering me a lot lately! And oh… the outcome is so sweet!

How to Forgive Our Mistakes

Sweet friends, just trust Him and stop beating yourselves up. Forgive your mistakes. Forgive your confusions or even times you’ve been tricked or manipulated. You erred innocently. God never left you and will NOT let you walk off any cliffs if you’re truly seeking him.

It’s like all the other ways we forgive. We forgive ourselves by recognizing God’s sovereignty.

Look back at the earlier verses I quoted, God promises. The process may not look as we think it should and we may not always choose well, but we are always in God’s loving hands.

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11

Father God, again we acknowledge your sovereignty. Help us to grow in faith. Help us to understand the vastness of your love. If we do these two things, we can be more assured as we seek you and more steadfast in the decisions we make. Keep us from doubt. Help us to understand how you maneuver us and to embrace this as part of the process. Help us to see clearly. Keep us from meddling in our own lives or those of others when you’re telling us to wait. Some times what we think is the wrong decision, is the right and the right, the wrong. Fill us with your wisdom and discernment. Protect us from being fooled… unless you really want us to be, to get us where we need to go. I pray I am pliable enough that you can maneuver me exactly to where I’m supposed to be, for your glory and in my best interest. AMEN.

Forgiving God

2008-02-24T17:17:00.000-08:00

If you read my last blog, I spoke on forgiveness and how important it is to our ability to live in the moment, live the abundant life. When we’re living in unforgiveness we’re in bondage to the person or circumstance that has already harmed us. We break free by acknowledging God’s sovereignty in all situations and acknowledging his character, that he’s all knowing, completely just, entirely trust worthy, and loves us so dearly. What has happened to us, and the fact that we may not understand it, does not change any of these things. God was there all along.

Today I want to talk about forgiving God. When we’re hurt, when we don’t understand why he’s allowed certain things or withheld certain things, we get mad at Him. I know you’ve been there. I’ve been there often! Without forgiveness, our relationship with him is damaged.

Why Forgive God?

We’re unable to live in the moment, when we’re not trusting God. We can’t trust him, when we feel we’ve been wronged by him. Though God, in his perfection, can do nothing wrong, some times decisions he makes, things he allows, can hurt us in the short term.

Our failure to acknowledge that we might need to forgive God puts a wedge between him and us. We’re hurt, we’re mad that something played out a certain way. We lost a job, a loved one, a dream was shattered, someone got sick, we don’t like our life status, everything is a struggle. Why won’t God just fix it?! Some times he just can’t. Not because he doesn’t have the power, or he doesn’t have the love, but because he knows the larger plan. This thing HAD to happen to play out his perfect will. Some times it not just about us. Or the development of our character through a circumstance is more important than a situation itself.

Do you know what? God wants you to come to him with all your heartaches, even if you think he caused them. In all good relationships, we must go to the one that’s hurt us and tell them. If we don’t get honest with God when he’s hurt us, that chasm between him and us will only grow. That bitterness takes root and we find ourselves all the further off track without him.

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” Psalm 55:22

Share the Hurt and Frustration

When I was in London, I met an amazing individual, who loves the Lord, but frankly, he’s broken her heart. Things have happened that have caused her to doubt. I don’t believe she doubts who he says he is or of what he’s capable. She doubts his love for her and whether he is a loving God, if he can allow so many hard things, especially to those who are trying to live according to his ways. Hurt and frustrated, she’s walked away from him. She doesn’t know what else to do.

Our meeting was certainly a divine appointment. If you know me, you know that the last few years God has allowed me to go through several trials that left me questioning his love, or at least his methods. I shared with her how often I’ve cried out to him for understanding.

I told her what I’ve learned most, is just keep talking. Like a human relationship, you need to communicate. You need to share your thoughts, feelings, and work through things together. I remember calling God to task on some of his promises in scripture. Dangerous! You can see I was pretty desperate. I begged him to meet me where I was, comfort me, give me strength, help it make sense, help me see anything differently, anything! I was more than once at my wits end.

I told her there were times that I too wanted to give up on Him, just turn away. But time and again, Peter’s words in John 6:67-68 resounded with me. Jesus asks Peter if he too will abandon him. Peter responds: “Lord, to whom shall we go?”

Some times I feel like he makes it hard to stay. Yet isn’t that my own lack of understanding, confusion, selfishness? I find when I have strayed, I’ve fallen into all sorts of temptations to ease my pain. Most regularly, these only caused more heartache and never filled me.

How Do You Forgive God?

God told me once that I doubted him, because I’d forgotten who he was. I did a study on all his attributes in hopes of remembering… his love, his mercy, his omnipotence, all of it.

Forgiving God is like forgiving anyone else. It begins by submitting to God’s authority. You remember he’s God, you’re not, and he just knows more than you. God would remind me of all the times he’s been faithful in the past and that he wasn’t about to stop being faithful now. The Israelites set up tangible reminders, their Ebenezer stones, to remember God’s faithfulness. I have a lot of Ebenezer stones, so I insist on trusting him.

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 3:8

A couple weeks ago, in chatting with a friend, in occurred to me that many of my longings have gone unmet, many questions left unanswered, for upwards of seven years. And yet, as I look back, I see all the good that has come out of this journey. God is pruning me, preparing me. I know that God has big plans for me. He will answer many of my questions and fill my heart, but first, he is disciplining me, so I am not swayed by the world, but ready to be all he has planned.

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:7-11

It’s Not Just Me Who Cries

Last weekend I visited my nieces and two new nephews. How I cherish them! It occurred to me how hard it must be for their parents to discipline them, loving them as they do. But I know that it’s in loving them, that they MUST discipline them. Some times it kills the parent to discipline, as they watch their child cry and cry, hurt and confused. But it’s for their growth and protection.

God whispered to me, how hard its been for him, how many tears he’s shed, as he’s had to watch me all those nights I’ve cried… knowing that NOT rescuing me was for my own good. He knew that REALLY loving me meant that he could only comfort me at times and at others, just watch me struggle. As my Father, he wanted me to be ok, to understand, but seeing the big picture, he had to wait and just let me go through it. He knew I could and that I had to, to move forward.

CS Lewis wrote: “Isn't God supposed to be good? Isn't he supposed to love us? And does God want us to suffer? What if the answer to that question is yes? See, I'm not sure that God wants us to be particularly happy. I think he wants us to love and to be loved. He wants us to grow up. I suggest to you that it is because God loves us that he gives us the gift of suffering. Or to put it another way, pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world. You see, we are like blocks of stone out of which The Sculptor carves the forms of man. The blows of His chisel which hurt us so much are what makes us perfect.”

God’s adventure isn’t always easy. I know several of you, expressed to me that much of your current lack of faith, apathy, or anger/frustration with God, is because you feel he’s never really been there for you. He’s let you down, so you’ve walked away. I BEG you give him another chance. You can’t do this life alone, without him. Your greatest effort and struggle, is nothing compared to what he can bring you, if you trust him. We don’t understand his ways, but he does have a purpose for your pain. He hates to see us hurt, so he never wastes a hurt.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.” Isaiah 55:8

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:17b-21

Talk to him about it. Tell him you’re pissed off! Goodness knows he’s heard strong words from me, some you’d hardly dare to use in front of God! Ask him to help you understand. Let him comfort you. Try to find a way to forgive him. Your ability to live the abundant life depends on it!

Just in closing… there’s a song that always seems to pop on the radio, when I’m most angry at God. It’s by MercyMe. It goes like this:

“I can count a million times, people asking me how I can praise You with all that I've gone through. The question just amazes me can circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You. Maybe since my life was changed, long before these rainy days, It's never really ever crossed my mind. To turn my back on you, oh Lord, my only shelter from the storm, but instead I draw closer through these times. So I pray:

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may loom above because you are much greater than my pain. You who made a way for me, suffering your destiny, so tell me, what’s a little rain? So I pray: (return to refrain)”

Father God, we know that throughout scripture, you warn us that this world will be full of trouble, full of pain. It sure is, and there’s so much we don’t understand. In these times, we cry out, and unfortunately, some times we run away from you, hurt and angry. Help us to see your love, no matter the circumstance. Help us to trust you, bear with you. Give us something to remind us of your goodness, when it hard to believe. Help us to understand your character. Give us the humbleness and strength to yield to your will. Help us forgive you. Restore today, any broken relationships between you and any who may read this. Help them to talk to you. Listen to them and don’t be silent. As for me, help me to continue to stand firm. Protect me from the world's many temptations when I struggle to trust you. I love you, Lord. AMEN.

Set Free Through Forgiveness

2008-02-11T12:24:00.000-08:00

As I continue to consider moments, I realize the most wasted moments are those we sit too long in hurt and anger over being wronged. Until we forgive, really forgive, that person, what happened, owns us. It shapes us. That’s not what we want!

Unforgiveness steals our moments. New moments that God may have for us are lost because we’re unable to let go of the past. Our bitterness keeps us from enjoying today.

What is Forgiveness?

When we’re sinned against, disrespected, betrayed, it’s reasonable to feel hurt. It’s even ok to be angry. But there comes a time to move on, forgive. The more quickly we can do this, the better.

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:25-27

“Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:14-15

Forgiveness is not merely saying “I forgive you”. It’s a condition of the heart. Speaking the words may be required or even essential to heal ourselves or move forward in a relationship. But whether or not we are able or choose to speak it, we must do it, from the depths of our soul.

Forgiveness is a decision. I have to decide I want to forgive. However, the actual forgiveness may be a process. Some times a hurt is so deep, that we must “forgive” by decision over and over again, until the heart really lets it go. It could take days, months, even years. I’m free to mourn and heal (without this, the forgiveness might not “stick”) but it’s not ok to let a bitter root spring up; my forgiveness has to be active. I need to work through my hurt, until it is really resolved.

We have truly forgiven, when we can wish the other well and love again freely, keeping no record of rights or wrongs. It’s allowing the past to be the past and taking our lessons forward.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Why Should I Forgive?

We some how believe unforgiveness punishes the wrong doer. However, the truth is, we remain enslaved until we forgive. Not to mention, it puts us into sin, erecting a wall between us and God.

Unforgiveness denies God of his sovereignty and challenges his character.

When we refuse to forgive one another, its as if we’re saying one of four things:

1) God is not sovereign. He didn’t know this would happen. It was out of his control or occurred outside his jurisdiction.
2) God is not just. He didn’t handle the situation fairly, so we need to take matters into our own hands.
3) God is not loving. He was cruel to let this happen; he cannot be trusted.
4) God is a liar. He said he’d work all things to good, but nothing good has resulted.

All of these are FALSE (the enemy's lies) and dangerous to believe. When we're hurt, we somehow feel that God has lost control, so we put up walls to protect ourselves in case it happens again. And we deny each other our human-ness, the right to be ever improving vessels it the potter's hands. We can’t live in the moment when we’re living like this.

Let’s remember what is TRUE: God is all powerful and all knowing. Nothing happens outside what he allows. He is just, but he is also full of grace. I’m thankful he doesn’t give me what I really deserve! He loves each of us dearly, as his children. And though we don’t always understand, he has a purpose for everything, even if it’s just to teach us.

This means that whatever has happened, even the bad, he’s allowed, through all his love for me. He must have a great purpose, far beyond what I can understand. We should look for any good that has come out of a situation, acknowledge that value, and forgive.

For two years God has been teaching me that I need to trust people. When I struggle to trust a person, I need to trust God more. I need to remember that nothing occurs outside of his grasp and everything he uses to fulfill his plans for me. An ever growing faith should lead to an ever growing capacity to forgive, as we acknowledge who God is and that he’s sovereign.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:16

Let’s look at a few more verses on how God sees sin and forgiveness:

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23

“Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.” Micah 7:18

“Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.” Psalm 103:2-5

“For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:11-12

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37

“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” Isaiah 43:25

How do I Forgive Others?

If a perfect God can forgive an imperfect person, surely an imperfect person can forgive another imperfect person. We should find a way to do this, understanding and acknowledging through our own circumstance how prone we are to failure! How many times have I hurt another out of honest mistake or just pure stupidity? More than I can count. Few if any of us intentionally sin against one another. And for even those who do, or who may show no remorse, it’s not that they won’t serve the consequences for their actions. It’s just not our's to dole out, only God’s.

"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7b

This verse, if you’re unawares, pertains to the woman caught in adultery. Jesus catches a group of men about to stone this woman for her sin. But he wisely points out, that’s not their right.

Some commentaries postulate that the older men were actually the first to put their rocks down. In their age, they were far more aware of the sins they’d committed over time. Likewise, the more religious knew how prone they too were to sin and could not hold it against her. As I age, and grow in faith, I too am aware of all my failings. I have to be ready to forgive others.

In the past month, there have been several people I’ve been called to forgive. In two situations, I was hurt by actions of friends, quite unintentionally. Because I love these friends, we talked it out and all is well. In another situation, I was hurt, but gave it to the Lord and just let in go. I was less invested and the infraction not as critical, so that was possible. But a final situation was for more troubling and has been more difficult.

Though details are unimportant, several years ago I was truly wronged. Someone said and did some things against me, publicly, that few of you would dispute as terrible. To this day, that person has zero remorse. I have reason to be angry.

Until recently, I hadn’t seen this person for years, so thought I’d forgotten about it. I may have forgotten, but my visceral reaction made it clear I hadn’t forgiven.

Terrible thoughts and feelings soared through my mind and heart. I was ashamed at how angry I was! I began to pray through it and time and time again, this one verse came up…

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20

For those of you unfamiliar with the story of Joseph, Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him, so they sold him into slavery. They lied to their father and said he’d been killed. In spite of his own faith and righteousness, through a series of other twisted events, he ends up in prison. But then he interprets a dream for Pharaoh and is given a key position. This enables him to save his own brothers from famine, securing a future for Israel. He says this to them, forgiving them for what they did.

You see, God always knew what would happen. He allowed it. And he planned on how to use it. Neither Joseph’s brothers, nor any other, had power to harm Joseph beyond what God allowed.

Such is surely true in my situation. God knew it. He allowed it. He had a reason. I look back now and see how God used it for good in the lives of many. So how can I not forgive?

That’s when God gave me the words of this blog: Unforgiveness denies God his sovereignty and challenges his character. He’s proved himself true. Just because one intended to hurt me, didn’t mean God had lost control. The opposite!

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

I have some thoughts on forgiving God (yes, forgiving GOD) and forgiving ourselves, but this is enough to chew on for now. You’ll just have to wait for future blogs!

Father God, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lord, you know in our hearts, there are things that are easy to forgive and others that are far more difficult. Some times it is our pride that keeps us from forgiveness. Some times it is extensive, deep hurt. Help us to forgive. Help us to acknowledge your sovereignty. Help us to trust you, no matter how we've been wronged. Help us to heal and move forward. Show us the lessons you have for us and help us release any right or claim to retribution. Teach us to love those who its harder for us to love. AMEN.

Embracing Seasons

2008-02-06T10:11:00.000-08:00

The acceptance of seasons is tightly related to our ability to live in the moment.

Holding on Too Tight

I used to believe, that every relationship, every friendship, was worth fighting for. I thought my commitment to people was one of the best things about me. I still believe this true, but I wonder if some times I try too hard because I worry what a lost relationship could say about me. Was I not lovable enough for someone to stick around? Could I fix it if I just tried harder?

Oh, thank you Father, I’ve learned this year, that the loss of a relationship doesn’t mean that I’ve some how failed or that I’m some how unworthy of love. As I’ve seen people come in and out of my life this year, I’ve realized some relationships are only meant for a season.

The Value of a Season

Each person God brings into our lives impacts us differently. They may bless us, challenge us, or give us a chance to love or grow. We should embrace this no matter how short the season, not fear it. Some relationships are not meant to last more than a few encounters. That’s ok. So much can we give and receive in short periods of time. I’m surely not saying to take friendship lightly, but be thankful for each person, in each moment, and don’t take losses too hard.

I’ve been home just over a month. Most of my friends in London have been reduced to infrequent Facebook notes. Even those with whom I felt most close have gone on with their lives. One even confessed that it’s just too much effort to keep in touch. In all fairness, I’ve moved on too. And I expected this to happen. Though, as I value these people and these relationships, I’d hoped it wouldn’t happen so quickly. I’m trying not to take it so hard, but it hurts a little.

When I first felt the “drift”, I went to God with a heavy heart. Was it worth it? I’d opened up my heart to these people. Maybe “being in the moment” was silly and only brought more hurt.

God gently responded: “Oh child, it wasn’t a waste. I brought these people to you and you to them. You blessed these people for a time and they filled you up. You talked about me. And they helped you in hard times and supported you so you could grow. It was all worth it. It was everything it was meant to be, because you embraced it. But yes, now its time for you to move on, for them to move on. This chapter may be finished, but the book is still being written in all your lives. If I still have a purpose for you in each other’s lives, distance, even lack of talking, won’t ruin it. But if I don’t, you need to let go, and just keep opening your heart to the others I put before you. Stay in the moment. I’ll guide you, moment by moment.”

All I could say through tears was “wow”. How my Father loves me and gives me amazing experiences… and puts in my life amazing people, even if just for a short time.

Fighting Seasons – Don’t!

How often we fail to really engage in people’s lives or let them into ours, because we’re afraid we might lose them. People move, get busy, journey in and out of relationships and priorities, even die. If we shut down, we won’t hurt as much when they leave. But oh… how much we’ll miss out, while they’re still here. I’d rather love big for a season than be cold inside.

I’ve also found that holding on too tightly to people only meant to be a season, cannot only prolong pain, but it can de-rail or at least delay all God has for me in my next season. The same is true for far more than just relationships. If we’re to move out of a job, a town, a church, an activity, but we refuse, we’re missing God’s next great thing for us. It may be difficult, and it can take some time to mourn, but we must do it. We must accept this change and even embrace it. So often I’ve found it hard to let go, excruciating even, only to find that the next thing was far sweeter. We must just say our goodbyes, cry if we must, and move on.

But the adverse is also true. There may be times when God is holding us in relationships, situations, circumstances, jobs, life status (such as singleness), for a very good reason. He still has work for us to do or something to teach us. We should not be so eager to move on to the next thing. We may not be ready for that next thing or it may not be ready for us. In rushing to that next thing, we may miss some amazing moments we’ll never be able to get back. We must trust in God’s love, God’s timing, and take full advantage of whatever season he wants us in NOW.

What Scripture Says

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Solomon was so very wise. If only we could be so wise, and move moment to moment fluidly.

Everything has a season. Some seasons are grand; others are hard. But they’re all valuable.

“What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.” Ecclesiastes 3:9-14

I know that last passage is a bit odd and confusing… but the point is this: God wants us to live vibrantly in the season we are in. Do the work when it’s required. God will make everything beautiful in its time. (I love that verse!). And then when its time, relax and celebrate. Everything has a purpose and the greatest of all, is to help us see God himself.

Father God, I thank and praise you for my time in London, for each person I met. I thank you especially for a few specific people, Brits and Americans, who made my year what it was. Even if it was only for a season, I will not stop praising you for them… for how I was able to encourage and stretch them… and how they encouraged and stretched me.

I thank you that you make everything beautiful in its time, relationships, activities, and even our work. You have great plans for us and I will not cease praising you for that, even when It’s hard, even when I have to wait. Give us the strength to embrace each season with enthusiasm. Give us discernment to know when to stay and fight and when to move on. Help us to see your face wherever you have us. AMEN.

Living in the Moment

2008-02-01T11:58:00.000-08:00

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10b

What is Living in the Moment?

This is the abundant life: to live life to the full.

My most treasured lesson from my last weeks in London is what joy is found in living in the moment. I knew my time in London was short, time I’d never get back, so I met new people, experienced new things, had fun, made a lot of memories and through it all, learned a great deal.

This blog is the start of a series on the abundant life… what it means, what’s keeping us from it, and how to bring it back. For those of you that are followers of Christ, you know this starts with Him and I’ll express what he’s been teaching me about it. For those of you that might be reading my blogs for the first time, you’ll find that even though the basis of my writing is my faith, of which you may hold different belief, there still may be valuable principles for you.

My last month in London, I took a lot of chances. I opened my heart and my mind. I was bold, care free. And though there was even hurt, I regret not one thing. Why don’t I live this way every single day of my life? Two reasons: I don’t feel I have the right… and I’m scared.

I always thought living in the moment a secular concept and one of which Christians should be weary. Scripture says that’s not the case at all! God wants us to live in today. He doesn’t want us endlessly licking our past wounds. He doesn’t want us meticulously focused on preparing for tomorrow. God wants us to embrace what he has for us today, right in this moment.

“This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

“Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

Discerning Moments

Hmmm… What about discernment? Does this mean we just throw caution to the wind?

By definition, living in the moment is about spontaneity and freedom. This isn’t negated in the Christian life. God has given us great freedoms and isn’t inherently against spontaneity. Ironically however, the ability to live truly in the moment, means living moments within boundaries. There is a delicate balance between embracing and experiencing all life has to offer and just being stupid.

Consider this: We all know that a moment lost, is a moment wasted. But have you ever stopped to think, that a moment abused, is setting you up to WASTE another moment? When we’re foolish or selfish or in other ways sinful in our moments, we hurt people. We can hurt ourselves! Then we have to spend a lot of time cleaning up the mess. What’s the point of that? Living properly in the moment should never cause harm and never leave us in regret. It should leave us with great satisfaction!

Casting Out Fear

So, God wants us to live in today, to live in the moment, but I’m scared! What do I do?

In my last weeks in London, I had nothing to lose. No one could abandon me, break my heart. I had no future expectations, nothing I could mess up; I was leaving! It made me fearless.

The fear of rejection and abandonment has been a huge issue for me in the last two years, as I’ve mourned the loss of a particular friendship. This loss was on the tail of another friend dying and many moving away. I didn’t want to EVER open up again because it hurt too much. I didn’t want to take a chance in anything, because I was scared of messing up my life.

A friend of mine in London helped me realize that these fears were keeping me from living my life. He shared with me an interesting quote from CS Lewis (below). I realized my fear was keeping me from all God had for me, because my fear was altering my behavior.

"The pain now is part of the happiness then. We can't have the happiness of yesterday without the pain of today. That's the deal." CS Lewis

We can play it safe. We can find a way to stay disengaged just enough, to protect ourselves from future hurts. Problem is, then we limit what we can do, be, and experience today. We will never be able to achieve our fullest potential, mind blowing experiences and relationships, if we play it safe. I don’t want to play it safe any more.

How to Create Great Moments

There are no set formulas to live in and make the most of moments. Yet in my time in London, I did two things consistently that freed me to maximize moments and embrace all of life:

1. I kept God in the center, always.

I look back on London with no regrets, because each step I walked with God. I made it a priority to worship, pray, read scripture and fellowship with other believers when home. When it was hard, I asked God, and friends, how I might be creative to stay connected to Jesus. When I wrestled with sin, I asked friends to hold me accountable. I stayed close to the vine.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

God was the director of my moments. I wanted to live in his will and asked him regularly what to do or say in given situations. I knew his plan was better than mine. He had great moments prepared for me, if I’d just listen and obey. I asked him to help me see moments and help me savor them. I wasn’t always on my A-game, but generally, when I was told to act, I acted. I took the adventure; I had the conversation. And when I was told to wait, I was still. I trusted Him and held back. I kept my mouth shut. God honored this… and I have so much to show for it!

I was in the right mindset, so I was in the right moments! I want to always live like this!

Obviously this principle is critical for the Christ-follower. However, even if you do not have a personal relationship with Christ, you can extrapolate a method from this. Ask your self these questions: Who am I? What do I value? What character traits is it important I portray? What do I want others to be able to say about me? What makes me pleased with myself? What behavior has left me in discontent, embarrassment, and disappointment before?

If you are well a tune to who you are and how you want to live, you will make choices accordingly, even in the moment. But if you don’t, or if when analyzing this, you find yourself to be more selfish or of ill repute than you believed, you’re setting yourself up for messy and hurtful moments.

2. I was freed up to take chances and stretched myself.

Oh, there were so many examples of this! God would put amazing opportunities in front of me and I had a choice. I could LEAP out of my comfort zone or I could play it safe.

First thing I want to note though, as that I was freed up to take chances. Before I left for London, I was miserable. I was crazy busy and yet, felt empty and frustrated. Missing a social event felt uncomfortable and saying no to a ministry seemed wrong. I couldn’t see that I was wasting my time and energy on activities and people God never intended. I wasn't freed up to even SEE the moments God might have for me.

God took me to London to clear my plate. I could start over, be more selective in my commitments and my relationships. I could listen to God’s voice and could be spontaneous. I could leap!

I went to Portugal by myself and had the most amazing five days in recent history. I learned so much about myself and God. I relied on him and grew my faith exponentially. Not to mention, I saw so much cool stuff and met some really neat people. I almost didn't go out of fear - But what a blessing that I did!

In England, I explored everything, from new churches, to new pubs (yes, pubs), to parks and monuments. I’d take adventures by myself or collect others to go along. These created even more opportunity to see the world through new eyes.

I had what seemed like a MILLION conversations about what Christ meant to me…and I almost NEVER was the one to bring it up. I was given all sorts of opportunities to glorify Him and talk about the differences he’s made in my life. I didn’t chicken out for fear of not fitting in. I was obedient and God really used me in the lives of others. I made a difference for the Kingdom.

Challenge

So… Where are you holding back? Do you need to clear your plate a bit? Do you need to get more in touch with your center? Or is just time to do some leaping?

Lord Jesus, I pray you help all of us to live in the moment, REALLY in the moment. Help us to discern what that means, day to day. Let us act in so that we will have no regrets, moments lost or moments of mistake. Help us to see who we are and what moments you have for us. In our moments, may we always glorify you and bless others, while we experience, learn and grow. Grant us discernment, when to leap and when to be still. Protect us from our own selfishness; may living our moments never harm another. Break down our walls, so we can live without fear and not miss one thing. AMEN!

The Importance of Community

2008-01-03T13:03:00.000-08:00

This blog was originally released 11.19.07 on the Frontline Internet Campus Website.
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What’s your “sin of choice”? What are you doing to keep it in check? I can guarantee that victory over your sin nature will be short lived without brothers and sisters in Christ to encourage you and hold you accountable. This is one of the most significant functions of biblical community.

Though I consider Virginia my home, my job currently requires me to spend the majority of my time in London. London is a wonderful place and I’ve met many brilliant people. Though I have many strong, believing girlfriends in DC, it’s been much harder for me to find biblical community in London. Oh, believe me, I’ve tried… but it just hasn’t happened.

It puts me in a precarious situation at times. Sin can be tricky and sneak up on me. I’ve been tempted in ways I’ve never been tempted before while in London and alcohol is just one of these ways. Everyone I know in the UK drinks and many quite heavily. My freedom allows me to spend time with them, even have a glass of wine or a beer with them. God has allowed me to have MANY amazing conversations about him and share with many of my coworkers, opportunities I would never have had, had I only seen them in the office. Yet I have to be constantly on my guard, to be certain that I know my limits and am staying within biblical bounds. I want my life to be controlled by the Holy Spirit, not by some chemical I consume. The second I stumble, the second I fall into excess, my witness is blown. I need biblical community to keep me on track, keep me accountable, and continue to teach and encourage me in ways of righteousness.

When I was in Kenya many years ago, we observed how closely the water buffalo stick together in herds. There’s safety in numbers. They watch out for one another. It was actually quite amazing to watch how, as we moved, so did they, the stronger ones maneuvering to stay between us and the weaker. Though they didn’t need to fear us, they knew there were predators all around. Should one, especially a smaller or weaker one, get separated from the herd, the outcome would be dire. It’s just dangerous to be cut off from herd. And frankly, the predators know this. We’ve all seen on various animal specials how wild cats (lions, leopards, tigers, etc.), will pluck off that lone gazelle, or try to get one separated from the herd, so its easier to attack and devour. What we don’t realize, is that Satan operates the same way.

Biblical community is living life with other believers. You are together trying to live your life in line with the Bible and you function in each other’s lives to care for one and protect one another. In the most ideal state, your biblical community is geographically close to you. In Virginia, my three best girlfriends are within 10-15 minutes of my house. Obviously, when I’m in London, they’re a bit farther, but we’re in regular email and phone contact and I’m normally with at least one of them within hours of getting off the plane. They’re my friends, yes. But they serve a far greater function. They are my sisters in Christ and they help keep me on track and moving forward.

When we aren’t living in biblical community, it’s as if we’re separated from the herd. We’re easy pickings for the enemy. And believe me… he will come after you. He’ll attack your thought life. He’ll tempt you in all sorts of ways. A friend once gave me a great acronym… H.A.L.T.. He told me that you need to be really careful any time you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Well heck, when I’m in London, the lonely and tired describes about 90% of the time. When I’m in London, I’m separated from the herd and it’s a dangerous place to be.

Many of you attending the Internet campus are attending because you have either moved away from DC and have not yet found a church near your new home… or you’re checking in from abroad, where it’s been difficult to plug into biblical community. Can you relate?

I am so excited about the Internet Campus. I’m so enthusiastic about it, at times I think I’m making staff nuts! It’s because I know how badly it’s needed, especially for those that are currently otherwise cut off from the herd. Yes, the worship is great, as are the sermons. But we all have access to Christian music and online sermons. It’s the fact that is that it’s live and we can talk to one another. That’s the difference; we’re connecting and this refreshes me. I’ve found a
WONDERFUL church in London from a worship and teaching perspective. But I haven’t found community. Internet Campus is functioning as part of my biblical community while abroad.

So what in the world does this have to do with Todd’s sermon on alcohol? EVERYTHING. You may be offered unique opportunities to share with non-believers by engaging in the local culture. Don’t shy away (assuming it doesn’t cause you to stumble). But watch yourself too. Don’t cause others to stumble. And whether alcohol tempts you or you have some other “sin of choice”, if you’re separated from the herd, realize you’re vulnerable and take some steps to change some things. How do you, how will you, handle when you’re tempted?

I challenge you this week…

Can you identify your biblical community? Is it tangible, virtual, or non-existent?

If you have great godly friends, if you’re in a small group, have a mentor, if you share your Christian walk with roommates/housemates or neighbors, I praise Jesus for what you’ve found! Enjoy it and make sure you’re continually building up one another and challenging one another. Don’t be just playmates; God has you in each other’s lives for greater purposes in your walk!

But if you do not yet have a tangible community (near where you physically live), please, please make all the more effort to keep joining us at the Internet Campus. You need us and we’re so thrilled to be in community with you. However, be thinking too… what ways you might find or create biblically community right where you live. Do you know any other believers? Are there ways, churches, groups, clubs, you might meet some? Take these opportunities. Take chances. We will chat with you online and pray for you if you ask, but we can’t be WITH you when the rug pulls out or when you’re staring big temptations in the eye. You need more.

However, until then… In an effort to create greater community through the Internet Campus, we want to let you know that we’re launching a Facebook Group this week, specifically for Internet Campus (IC) attendees. This will be a place where you can put a face to a name. Who knows, you might stumble over someone in your same area! It will also be a place where you can post thoughts or prayer requests. And it will be a place where you can continue to discuss the sermon of the week, much like we do online in The Service chat room. You all have been so great in your discussions so far, why restrict it to Sundays?! We hope you’ll enjoy this way to connect further, as we take the IC to a deeper level.

See you online! www.frontlinedc/internetcampus

The Story of Alyssa Grace

2007-11-13T03:13:00.000-08:00

In Todd’s sermon on Nov 4th, he spoke of a few situations in which one might deem it reasonable to consider termination (abortion). However, he challenged us to not yield to the world’s thinking, but to trust God. God knows what he’s doing.

I had the blessing of this reality just over a year ago. Some times tricky situations are the most beautiful of all, when we trust. This is the story of Alyssa Grace, my third niece.

My sister-in-law found out she was pregnant about three months in. She actually found out because she was leaking amniotic fluid. We were told the baby likely had spina bifida and would be disabled. We were also told that it had a heart abnormality and only one kidney. If the child survived, it would be a difficult life at best. The doctor’s asked if they’d like to consider terminating the pregnancy. Trusting God, Brooke and Ken quickly declined. This was their child, for better or for worse.

As time progressed, the medical complications seemed to grow, until mysteriously another test, showed it all to be wrong. The baby didn’t have spina bifida. The heart was fine. Both kidneys were there. It had all been a mistake caused by a bad image, a result of lack of fluid in the uterus. However, this lack of fluid was keeping the lungs from developing and the baby from growing. We were told this probably would not likely reverse itself. The doctors gave no hope and asked the question again about termination. Problem was, this time my sister in law was at risk if the pregnancy were to continue. With much hesitation, they scheduled the termination.

Though it seemed the right thing to do medically, none of us had any peace about it. My brother was almost sick over it. Ken and Brooke decided to wait one week. We all begged God to intervene. If this little baby were to make it, we needed God to do a miracle. But if this baby was not to be, we just wanted him to take it. We didn’t want them to have to decide.

The termination was scheduled for Thursday, but God would surprise us Monday, when at only 22 weeks, Brooke went into labor. We were told to expect a stillborn. But God is amazingly gracious and promises to deliver more than we can ever ask or imagine. Alyssa Grace entered this world alive. To tiny to save, they handed her to her parents. Ken and Brooke got 45 minutes to be with their beautiful little girl, before she went to be with Jesus.

Her middle name is all so perfect to describe what God did. God not only answered our prayers, but he delivered a more beautiful outcome than we ever could have hoped. But isn't that the reality of God? Just when we think all is lost, he blows our mind. Just when we think he's not paying attention, he shows us his love more vividly than the most beautiful sunset, clearer than the sunniest of days. Our God is so big, and yet he holds us each in the palm of his hand. I so often think God is slow, but he delivers on our prayers so perfectly, just at the right time.

The next few months after that would be difficult for all of us, for various reasons (few actually having to do with the loss of Alyssa). But God had taught us something great through Alyssa. Alyssa had taught us something great in her determination.

I often envision that when I get to heaven, aside from Jesus, one of the first people I’ll meet is my beautiful niece Alyssa. I can’t wait to meet her. I can’t wait to thank her for all she taught me, in just 45 minutes of life.

You see, Alyssa was a person… not a thing. She was my niece… not just tissue to be discarded. I know how hard the decisions were for my brother and his wife and I empathize. We told them we’d support them in whatever decision they’d make. But I pray for all who read this that you see God’s masterful plan and don’t decide too quickly should you be in a similar situation. My other sister is now having some difficulties in her pregnancy. She declined amniocentesis. She doesn’t need to know if her baby is sick. She’s already in love with it no matter what.

About two months after Alyssa died, a friend confided in me that she had been in the exact situation just a few weeks before and had terminated. She was devastated with sadness and guilt. I consoled her and reminded her of God’s love and grace. I assured her too, that God in his beauty would allow her to meet her child in heaven. I encouraged her to pray for healing.

If you too have been through this, or termination for another reason, I offer you the same. God is a god of second chances and he always loves us and forgives us. Acknowledge God’s sovereignty today and confess to him. God is an amazing God of grace and he does forgive. Then go forward and let him take that ache from you. I pray for your healing. He loves you so much.

The Ministry of Presence

2007-11-13T02:43:00.000-08:00

Silence deepens. The pounding of my heart is increasing. I know not what to do. Another’s life hangs in the balance. What do I say? Lord of All Comfort, give me the words, the words to save this life. Guide me, lead me, and fill me with your wisdom.

Last Sunday, Todd spoke on suicide. To be on any end of this matter can be devastating. Hearing about it can be quite painful to those who have been touched by it.

In the Lobby of the Internet Campus, Todd’s sermon hit close to home for at least two people, currently dealing with loved ones in crisis. Several people offered prayer and encouragement. Others offered scripture and words of wisdom. And yet, I think many just felt helpless, not knowing what to say. I know the individuals sharing their situations with us felt helpless, because they told us so. They didn’t know what to do. Their loved ones didn’t want to talk anymore. They didn’t want to listen anymore either. I can relate.

In spring of 2002, I went through a very difficult time. Situations caused a depression so deep, that the thought of suicide did occur to me. Historically, I’d been pretty good at handling “my stuff”, with God’s help. But having been a believer for almost 20 years only caused more fear and frustration because this time I couldn’t understand why I was doing everything “right” and yet God wouldn’t make it better. Ironically, being so angry at God was one of the reasons I ruled out that aching temptation to end it (that, and praise Him, knowing I had many loved ones).

I was tired of talking about my pain. I didn’t want anyone to know how bad it had gotten and I just had nothing else to say. I didn’t want to listen any more either. Everything anyone said just seemed like a silly platitude and only made me feel worse. Throwing scripture at me when I was already mad at God just made me angrier.

I’ve been on the other side though too. Several years later I would feel incredibly helpless watching a dear friend suffer quite deeply. I was desperate to find something to say, something I could do, to make it better, encourage my friend, and ease the pain.

Sometimes though, you need not words. Your presence is enough.

This is the “Ministry of Presence”, to just sit with someone in their pain and suffering. Love never fails and Jesus showed us, time and time again, how compassion heals.

When Jesus heard of Lazarus’ death, his first means to care for Lazarus’ family was to go be with them. He went to them. He wept with them. He comforted them. Then he acted. (John 11)

Paul writes about God, suffering, and our roles: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

If we look back in the Old Testament, we see a similar example in Job. Job’s friends spent most of their time just being with him. They sat with him. They suffered with him. In fact once or twice when the spoke, they said all the wrong things. Being still and providing comfort was the best support they could provide him.

“When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” Job 2:11, 13

Galatians 6:2 tells us to carry one another’s burdens. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we’re in this together. But it doesn’t always mean we fix things. Some times we just show up.

When I was at the height of my depression, I had a dear friend who, night after night, would just sit with me and watch TV. Occasionally he’d ask if I wanted to talk. When I would say no, he simply put his arm around me and we’d continue to sit there silently. He’d never push; he just stayed with me. To this day, I feel I may owe this friend my life… a life I now love dearly.

In the situation several years later with my other friend, I’d do the same. That friend would later tell me that it meant the world that I merely took the time to be available, made the drive no matter the hour, sat for as long as was needed, and never pushed to talk.

There are times when words are important, when something must be said. If someone is contemplating suicide, you may need to speak biblical truth into his or her life, maybe some thing you learned last week from Todd’s sermon. In other situations, prayer, either with the individual or apart, is the best means of intervention. And yet, there may be times when silence, presence, is the most powerful means of all to show your love.

Father God, I lift up to you my brothers and sisters who may be wrestling with pain in their own lives or trying to help a loved one who is struggling. I pray no matter which side they are on, that you give them wisdom and strength. I pray you ease their pain. Meet them where they are and show them your love in tangible ways. I thank you God that you are full of love and compassion. I thank you that you are faithful, and your mercies are new every morning. I thank you that you never waste a hurt; we always come out better on the other side, often even thankful for the trials we’ve been through. Father, come to the rescue of those who need you today. AMEN.

On a practical note, if you suspect suicide is imminent (they have a plan and you believe they’re prepared to act on it), do not hesitate yourself to act immediately by calling 911. I’d rather have a friend angry with me for the rest of my life, then to not have them at all.

Other Resources:

Additional assistance and guidance can be provided for those experiencing depression, anxiety, or personal challenges by calling the McLean Bible Church Christian Counseling Center at 703-770-8670. The Intake Coordinator will assist callers in finding a psychiatrist (who can dispense meds), or a counselor (who can do therapy), in accordance with the callers needs. Click here for more information: http://www.mcleanbible.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=1319

For more information on the ministry of presence online see: The Ministry of Presence by Steven Davies http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Wisdom_For_The_Heart/article.asp?article_id=1568

Speak to Me Lord (original posting July 23rd)

2007-11-13T02:35:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, July 11th: I arrived in London Tuesday on the red-eye. Though exhausted, I felt God’s pull for me to attend Pastorate that night. (Pastorate is HTBs church community group I’ve been attending.) I wasn’t sure what He might have for me, but as the homesickness was already setting in (ahead of schedule!), I figured it was a good idea to go.

After much more social interaction than in the past (so often I’d gone and met no one), which was good in and of itself, we worshipped, and then Dave spoke. Last time Dave spoke he freaked me out a bit. Many in the group, including the leadership, are much more charismatic than I’m used to. I’m often skeptical, given what MBC believes doctrinally about many spiritual gifts, but I also really feel HTB is solid too, so I’m trying to open my mind. Maybe MBC might in fact be too closed to all the Holy Spirit may choose to do in me, in you. I’m just not sure.

Dave began to remind us how badly God wants to talk to us… that if we are only willing, if we only ask him, he will eagerly talk to us and share all sorts of things. To some it may be words. To others, images. God has his own way of speaking to each of us. He may give us a word for ourselves. He may give us a word for another. Dave told us that we’d pray and then enter into an activity, where we would be silent and ask the Holy Spirit to come in. This of course concerned me, still not sure about Dave and his beliefs. I began to pray, “Lord, let nothing occur here tonight that is not of you. Purify our hearts. If you want to reveal yourself to us, great. But give me confidence that it’s all of you. Let no egos or other powers or anything but your pure and holy Spirit enter in.” We broke into small groups. Dave asked us to be still and simply right down anything God would speak to us so we might share it (if we felt so inclined). Before he even concluded praying, God was already talking to me and quickly!! Write! Write! Write!

Let me take a step back, to share with any of you unawares, what’s been going through my head and heart lately with regard to London. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I know I’m supposed to be here right now. That is not even a question. But what often stumps me is trying to figure out why I’m here. What am I supposed to be doing? Learning? I’m also continually frustrated by my own emotions. In spite of knowing I’m exactly where the Lord has called me right now, I’m wound up most of the time. I don’t always want to be here, and even knowing I’m supposed to, doesn’t seem to elevate what I feel at times. Some times I’m depressed and lonely. Other times anxious and have difficulty making decisions. No, I don’t think this is clinical and I don’t need meds, ha, ha (considered that – and no). This is different, as if it’s my own mind and heart at war with God’s will and the enemy is having a blast trying to confuse me. I’m uncomfortable and I don’t like it, so I’m constantly trying to fight it and control EVERYTHING. I also don’t understand why I can’t seem to connect with more believers here despite my efforts. My homesickness is never about missing VA. I love VA, but I really love London too. My angst is in missing all of you, my family, the encouragement, the iron sharpening iron. Yes, like family, sometimes being in the Frontline bubble brings its own stress and angst. But there is none the less something special about being with God’s people. I felt that more than ever this last trip home and that was why it was harder than ever to come back. If only I could have all of you here with me! And yet, I have felt, that me being in London, and not making new friends, is because God wants me away from it all, just for him, him and me only, in this time, in this place. He wants my eyes on him, not my social life.

Anyway… so with all I’ve written so far tearing through my head… God speaks…

“Trust this group. Their leadership is ordained by me. Their hearts are chasing after me and they don’t want anything not of me any more than you do. Relax and take it in.

Rest in me while in London. This is a safe place because I am at your side. I’m never apart from you. This is our time. Don’t feel alone. I am with you. I’ve set this time apart for us, for rest, for perspective, to strengthen you. You’ll be so strong when you return and I’ll be able to use you more than ever before. But you have to let go. You have to stop trying to control things and let me be God. I long to refresh you, fill you up, but I can’t if you’re all wound up. Trust me. I know you don’t want to be wound up, but you have to take every thought captive, put your emotions at my feet. Fix on me and don’t let go. I want to begin to do something different in you, unique, creative. Are you willing?”

I stopped him: “I’m scared, Lord!”

“Don’t be scared. I’m with you. You are NEVER alone. Never. Rest my child. Right now just rest. I am preparing you. Have no worries, no doubts.”

Wow, I was overwhelmed by how clear God was and speaking right to exactly what was on my mind. I knew it was of him. I certainly did not have this clarity. And he spoke nothing that isn’t well grounded in scripture. (These are some measures to apply to discern if it’s really God speaking.)

As I thought this he continued: “I’ll talk to you all the time; you just need be still.”

Hmmm… Seemed everyone I’ve talked to in the last week is getting the same message, “Be still!” And most certainly, as you know through some of my other writings, God’s been trying to get me to sit still for months. I may write about it well, but applying it is a far other challenge. Ok.

Each person in my group shared what God had shared with them. God spoke to some. To others he gave images. They were happy in how God was so clear with me, just as I needed to hear him.

We returned to another time of prayer. This time, we were asked to request from God a word for someone else in the group. Hmmm…. God and I chat a lot. And I can usually discern pretty well when God is giving me a word for myself. But can I really just request a word for someone else, just like that, and expect God to comply? I started to think of this spiritual gift called “prophesy”. To be honest, I don’t really know all that much about it.
Now… let me preface here, that I’m going to share what I am LEARNING and trying to get my head around. I am not going to go into a detailed lesson on prophesy b/c I am NOT qualified. I have a lot to learn and there are lots of areas of debate. There are misunderstandings and misuse of words. I’ll try to be as clear as I can what I’m learning and what I understand to be true… but it is far from complete or sure.

From what I understand, there are two uses of “prophesy” in scripture. In the Old Testament, it appears we’re normally speaking to the foretelling of the prophets. Basically, men God had entrusted to tell others about him, what he was going to do, and why. Some of their foretelling was in the short term (something was going to happen immediately or very soon). Other foretelling was more future. For example, they spoke quite often of the coming of Christ. With the existence of the scriptures, I believe this type of foretelling, in our current age, is rare or non-existent. BUT in the New Testament, Paul speaks that we should crave this gift. It appears to refer to receiving a word from God on a matter or about a person. Its use is to edify the church. It’s given in plain language (not tongues) so that it’s understandable. It is not so much foretelling, but a word of encouragement or instruction. If this description, of this latter type of prophesy, is accurate (verses confusion in semantics of language), then I believe this still exists today. I believe this was the type of “word” Dave was encouraging us to seek. He was asking us to go to God and ask for a word of encouragement or instruction to edify someone in our group.

Anyway… so it still seemed a little odd b/c I just wasn’t sure if God operates on demand like. I don’t know if I believe the Spirit can work through everyone in that manner or if some just receive it as a gift. I feel like from time to time, maybe I’ve gotten a word about a friend or family member. But who knows. Bottomline… I wasn’t sure… so I didn’t want to force it. I didn’t want to push my head so far and inadvertently make something up.

To pass the time, I began to flip through scripture to read on prophesy. I set out after 1Cor 12. I began to read…

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
Ok. First off. Notice anything odd about this passage? Yeah. This isn’t 1Cor 12. This is actually Romans 12. But I wouldn’t notice this until later. Is was actually kinda cool. I think God wanted me to read this INSTEAD of 1Cor 12, whereby in the entire act again speaking to me!

So this is what I got out of this passage:

• Continually be opening and transforming your mind. Be discerning. This is exactly what I had felt God had already said to me. Keep an open mind, but be discerning. It was nice to get this scriptural confirmation.
• In having an open mind, don’t think of yourself too highly. To have an open mind, you must be humble; you can’t think you already know it all. Ok. I can do that.
• We are one body with many parts. We don’t all have to prophesy. I don’t have to prophesy. I just need to know my gifts and use them. I do. Cool.
• And I need to appreciate other’s gifts. If there are others in this group that do have the gift of prophesy. Though I should be discerning, I should be not judging and appreciate their gift. I should embrace them using it to edify the church.

Its about then I realized I’d read the wrong passage, but was so thankful for what God had shown me through this passage. I went to the “wrong” place b ased on what I thought I needed to read. But God’s spirit corrected me.

Well… I never got a word about anyone in our group. A few did get a word for me and that was neat. One said she saw me as if on a boat… slowly allowing the wind to catch me but then becoming prepared to take off (she doesn’t know I’m an avid sailor). Another gave me encouragement about my being in Europe and God using me. She gave me some scripture that backed up and encouraged the message I thought I’d received from God (though I don’t recollect it now and my notes are missing. And then finally, I got a Psalm from someone. It’s so perfect (esp v. 5 and 6) that I’ll close with it in a minute. They asked me if I’d gotten a word for anyone. I shared with them what I just shared with you. They said that sure sounds like a word, alright and they thanked me for reminding them and reiterating that we do all this in God, by God, to edify his people, period. It’s not us. We have no power. It’s God, if and how he chooses to use us… and we should be thrilled at however that is. Its all his Spirit.
Psalm 16
1 Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.
2 I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."
3 As for the saints who are in the land,
they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight. [b]
4 The sorrows of those will increase
who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood
or take up their names on my lips.
5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
11 You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Father God, I pray for each person reading this. I pray that they are able to hear your calling, your gentle yet powerful voice. I pray that they are able to see where you are assigning them and that they embrace it. Assure them that you draw their boundaries in pleasant places and that their inheritance, as your children, is sure wherever they go, whatever they do. I DO praise you Lord for your counsel. I thank you for how you speak to me, to all of us, when we call on your name. Help us to be still more, so that we can hear your voice. You long to talk to us. My heart is indeed glad and my whole body rejoices when I know you are near. Don’t hide from me. God, I pray for quiet this week… for me… for others… that they will call on you and hear you, in the way you know they can best… words, pictures, something else. I pray you aware us to all our gifts and that we use them in accordance with your will to glorify you and edify the church, whatever they are. May we have an open mind and be eager to learn new things about you. Holy Spirit, come. Be in our hearts, in our minds, in our lives. Help us put aside this world and live through you. AMEN!

When Your Elevator is Running Low on Air (original posting date 4/21/07)

2007-05-13T08:33:00.001-07:00

Though I’ve been away a lot, I’d kept up on Frontline’s recent “elevator” series via Internet. It was a sensational series and I very much appreciated what each pastor shared. The thing is, leaving the country, being away a month, returning, and leaving again, has given me an interesting perspective on Christian community in the DC area and has left me wrestling with one question: What do you do when you feel like your elevator is running out of air?

Bear with me on this one.

Being in the UK has been hard at times, as I’ve shared with many of you. But it’s also been a tremendous gift to temporarily escape the “bubble” in which I feel I live. As I’m sure many of you can relate – it’s hard to feel you live under a microscope. One becomes so intent on striving that it’s exhausting! And some times as brothers and sisters in Christ, we’re not as encouraging as we might profess, but instead pass judgment and apply pressure that never allows rest. We get so wrapped up in a desired image and work so hard to be successful in the world, our Christian walk, and ministry, that we lose sight of God. In my life, the consequences are that I grow suffocated and overwhelmed. My disconnectedness grows, in spite of LOTS of people around me. My ability to love, forgive, encourage, and serve begins to wane. If I just try harder, it gets worse!

A month ago I worried I might be unique in these feelings, but as I shared them with others, I learned many feel the same way. Some were actually jealous of my ability to get out of the DC rat race… to see things so much more clearly. That troubled me even more, so I had to write on it.

In this piece, I will not profess to have all the answers, because I don’t. I would merely like to share some observations, how I’m processing through them, and some action steps I’m considering for myself. I challenge you to think and pray long and hard on these observations, ask God if there’s any truth in them in your life, and see if you too need to make any changes.

Here’s my core observation…

We race from moment to moment. Our schedules are so packed we hardly have time to be together, in real quality moments. We know this and long for it, yet we’re consistently adding more activities and responsibilities to our plates. We try to be friends with too many people and attend every conceivable event. In the process, we end up with people all day, but in relationships that lack depth. We get so fried, we feel urges to escape. We waste a lot of time in our cars, getting to all these events and people too far away. We have to plan weeks and months in advance to fit it all in and our minds are so consumed as to where we need to go or what we need to do next, we’re continuously distracted. We’re exhausted and our relationships are neglected. We don’t have time to “play” with and enjoy one another. We’re good at stepping up for one another in times of crisis, but we dread those calls because some times they’re the only one’s we get! We’re so drained that we justify our own selfishness because we’re just trying to survive. God’s missing out here too. He gets neglected for the sake of all our responsibilities and even ministries that we’re convinced are so important. If we lightened our loads, we’d have more time to be spontaneous and have good clean fun (even in serving!) with both God and others, and reduce the amount of drama, stress, and pain we receive from relationships.

So What Shall I Do?

As I contemplate these desperate realities, I’m praying over a few key areas. I need to:
• Take Sabbath seriously
• Recondition my time with my Father
• Take responsibility for me
• Lighten my load
• Let God pick my friends
• Be serious about my relationships

Let me tell you a bit more what each of these means to me and where it may challenge you.

Take Sabbath Seriously

We need balance. We need lightness. We need fun, and play, and room to breathe. The world causes us to strive too much already. Being with God and his people should not be a further drain.

God wants my heart most of all (Isaiah 29:13) and he wants to refresh me (Jeremiah 31:25). He wants us to refresh each other (Proverbs 11:25). Yes, we’re to challenge and hold one another accountable, but are we doing that more than loving each other freely and living in joy and love? We MUST rest. God commands a Sabbath (Exodus 20:11) because he knew his people would be too consumed by the world and never stop if not told.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Rest can mean many things. Rest in my life often means play, because it’s often my heart and mind that needs rest, more than my body. I must protect a day each week or at least part of a day, for this. One week my greatest need may be time alone with God. I need to break the urge to be social and take this time! My insecurities make me a slave to all the fun events around me… but what purports as fun can also cause a spiritual restlessness. Some times my Sabbath will include others (beyond me and God), but in protecting this day for refreshment, it should never include people or activities that in any way stress me out. I use the word protection here repeatedly, because that is what it takes to make it really happen. The world, even other believers and our own hearts, will try to steal this time for something else. The enemy will entice us and our exhaustion will only grow. Is your Sunday too jam-packed with ministry activities? That’s fine. It need not be Sunday. Commit Saturday or a part of it, that you will protect as stress free and restful to your heart, mind, soul, and body as needed. Enjoy God. Enjoy others. Relax.

Now scripture states that we are to observe the Sabbath and keep it holy (Exodus 20:8). If I were to delve in the details of that command, this piece would be even longer, so I won’t today. But since I’m fairly certain we’re all currently far from resting and protecting a day from stress, I’ll feel we’ve achieved much if we make some changes just starting there.

Recondition My Time with My Father

Potentially my most frightening realization has been that I felt God was stressing me out. My earthy parents are wonderful. They have always encouraged me, yet never beyond what is realistic. They accepted me; I was always good enough. Somehow though, I’ve still developed in me this need to continually strive. My relationship with God, my time with him, tends to center too much on me working through my stuff and how to become a better woman of God. It’s taxing! And sadly, it makes me not want to spend time with him.
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30
God doesn’t want me to feel that coming to him is so intense that I’m driven away! He wants to refresh me, love on me, just be with me and get to know me. He wants me to sit at his feet, get to know him, and enjoy him. Yes, there will be times that God and I need to deal with some hard things and have some tough conversations, but like any healthy relationship, we need to spend enough time together to achieve balance, heavy and light. I need to learn how to “play” with him. That’s hard for me because he’s obviously not tangible, but I need to try.

One immediate change I can make is in my preparation for worship. In London, I’ve found that I love going to church and sitting by myself. I know no one! There’s nothing to distract my thoughts. No friends I’m trying to catch up with or pass something off to, because I’ve been too busy to do so outside of church time. People and stimuli around me are not causing me to think of the 100 other things I’ve left undone this week. It’s just me and God. My worship time becomes a love story, as it should be. I need to figure out how to prepare better and/or focus more at MBC. Maybe I need to attend morning service more. Maybe I need to sit apart from my friends. Maybe I need to come early and spend time alone in prayer before we begin. I’m not sure, but I need to figure it out. I need resist the urge to bring a “to-do” list to church and remember why I’m there. I’m not sure yet which will work best for me, but change needs to occur!

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.” Psalm 28:7

Take Responsibility for Me

If I begin to feel emotionally drained by others, that’s not their fault; it’s mine! I need to remember that I cannot change others, but only change the way I react to them. I have been so blessed with many people sharing some very difficult things with me in the past year. Thank you for trusting me with your hearts! I have grown so much and I don’t want this to change at all. Where I see I must improve is in trusting God with the lives of those I love. I get very stressed out about other people’s “stuff”. If you are reading this and you’ve shared difficult times and hard conversations with me in the last year, THANK YOU! You have been a blessing to me and it’s this intimacy, care, and involvement that have grown me and my faith immeasurably, not to mention my love for you! I am not for a second wishing any of this away. What I am acknowledging, is that I need to grow in discernment as to when to embrace you and when to create somewhat of a loving detachment in regard to your stuff. I need to grow in faith and more tangible practice that Christ will take care of you and I’m only his vessel as he may call. I need to pray, pray, pray about my role in your life or I will be of no godly use to you anyway, in fact, I may be an interference! I need to re-read my own blog about carrying one another’s burdens! (Lots of good scripture in there on this topic!)

Lighten My Load

Ah… this one is so obvious. SO WHY AREN’T WE DOING IT? Is it duty? Pride? Obsession? Compulsion? Insecurity? I need to learn to strategize my life and control my calendar. The UK has forced me to clear my calendar. What a cool thing that is! I can start over, really listening to where God may call me to serve or in who he’s call me to invest (or them in me). I normally have a lot of free time here. And though my interactions with those in DC may have to be non-conventional, they can be even more meaningful, because I have the bandwidth to make them so. Each of us needs to sit still and listen for God’s gentle small voice. He won’t yell. He may actually allow us to run around like chickens without a head until we get it. If you haven’t heard a clear answer, ever thought maybe you ought to do nothing? Look at your life. Look at your calendar. How much can you really do and maintain a healthy relationship with God and others? What is causing the most growth and joy? Cut the rest; don’t be enticed or guilted into more.

This morning I listened to Todd’s sermon from last week, the first in the series on the parable of the talents. He encourages us to all go and use our talents. But consider this… if you are already running mad and feeling burned-out with activity, ever think this message MAY NOT HAVE BEEN FOR YOU?! If you are not serving at all, yes, you need to get in the game. You may have to give something else up to do it (to fit it in), but oh, it will be worth it! However, if you’re already serving, I can assure you, Todd is not recommending you take on ten more things! Do you know that 80% of the work is accomplished by 20% of the people? I would suspect that the same people who need this blog the most are the same who felt provoked to do even more by Todd’s sermon. Please, please, there are plenty of Frontliners doing nothing but socializing. If this isn’t you though, Todd is not necessarily asking you to take on more. Be discerning! This is a prime example of how in the past Frontline has stressed me out. It’s never been the pastors’ fault… its how my personality receives this information (again, taking responsibility for me). Remember, each sermon should be taken to God for God to show us what we should, or should not, apply to our own lives. Certain sermons may apply to us very little and others much more.

Let God Pick My Friends

I feel like we all long for family, but we never achieve it because we can’t commit to one another. I know A LOT of great people yet, maybe I’m not meant to be friends with all of them. Maybe it is more important to pick a select few and ensure they’re given priority in my life. Perhaps these people should be people that live within a certain geographic radius, not all over the moon, to be a good steward of the time God has given me (instead of spending so much in the car). Or maybe not. Possibly we should be of a similar age and spiritual maturity or share mutual interests so we might really live life together, including our errands, our activities, even our workouts. Or not? I must allow God to pick my friends. I should not focus on who I view as the “coolest” or who makes me feel the best. Why are we often looking for what someone can give us or do for us? At the same time, I shouldn’t be a martyr, picking only people I must continually pour into and who drain me. God gets to choose the balance and I need only be open to his lead.

Once God has selected them (which will often be revealed by scheduling that works out, mutual affection, and the like), I need to truly put these few in a position of protection in my life. Friendship should not be about convenience. If we are family, let’s act like it. A healthy family spends frequent quality time together and makes themselves available to each another. Jesus chose a group of twelve, and then even among them, he had a core group of three. This seems to be a good model. On MySpace, folks joke about our “Top Friends”. Though the Internet is not the place to broadcast, conceptually, its wise and something I’ve done for years! I mean, if I don’t prioritize all the people in my life, how will I know how to manage my time when things get crazy? Mary, Martine and Anne might as well be sisters to me in the truest sense. Similar to Kate, my sister by blood, I’d drop anything for them. I’d be on the next plane if something dreadful happened, without a blink of an eye. We share this with each other too. These amazing three ladies know I feel this way about them and prioritize them in such a way. And they feel the same of me. They are my rock. I’d be lost without them and them me. It is like the covenant between David and Jonathan. I take them into consideration when I think about things in my life. I may not be able to make decisions around them, but I ensure they play a part and I speak with them first.

Some of you think that such commitment or intensity in friendship is silly. I think its silly so many of us in DC are single in our thirties and am really starting to doubt it as God’s plan (I’ll get to that in a minute). But, if God has truly called us to this state right now, than he must intend us to build true family ties in another way. We have an innate need for family. Most of our families are far from DC. That wasn’t normally the case in scripture and when it was, people were taken in by others. This should be our friendships in DC. I see too many shallow and temporal friendships. We need to consider each other more. WARNING! Guy/girl friendships: Not going to get into detail here, but watch out for inappropriate “surrogacy”. We could get so comfortable in these surrogate dating relationships that we fail to date! Get serious about friendships. Make solid same-sex friends. Make some good opposite sex friends within appropriate boundaries.

Ok - Quick note on dating and singleness… I’m noticing while over here, that the DC Christian scene is sadly unique in our inability to couple. Have we so many choices that we’re afraid to jump in, fearing someone better is around the corner? Are we too obsessed with too many things to make the time to get to know one another? Folks… people all over the world are jumping in, making commitments, and a lot are even keeping them (imagine that!). Get in the game!

Be Serious About My Relationships

Following on from the section before is a deep acknowledgement that true intimacy is hard. But it’s so good, and biblical, so the work is worth it. Don’t give up too easily.

A friend and I had a hard conversation a few weeks ago. We expressed frustration that something about our relationship has always seemed so complicated, when compared to other friendships. But then as I’ve pondered this over the last few weeks, it’s because of the level of intimacy we share, emotional and spiritual. We may not have a lot of other relationships with that intensity.

You see, we are made for intimacy, deep, profound intimacy. We need to realize, that with it comes the reality of who we are, including our sin. We need to be willing to live in grace and work through difficult things with one another, to have that intimacy we treasure. We need to learn how to maneuver the intensity, which may mean balancing it and controlling its levels.

I started this peace alluding that I was enjoying some time out of the elevator, but it didn’t take me long to begin to experience a deep loneliness in the UK. My first two weeks in London were frankly refreshing. But as my time grew on, it was not that I didn’t have people around me, but that we lacked a spiritual connection, an intimacy, a real relationship. As the disconnection progressed, it grew into a deep spiritual loneliness, a growing lack of connection to Christ, because of a lack of connection with his people. I was so blessed and refreshed by a small act of kindness late one week, when Friday Night Bible Study “Skyped” me in. To tell you the truth, I couldn’t hear over half the time! But I knew I was in God’s presence and there with his people. I was refreshed on another level.

I think Will’s sermon (#3) was the most significant to me, because I agree so whole heartedly that we need each other. I needed to get away, but I needed to not stay away too long, lest my heart grow hard. It would become too easy to stumble into sin. I need people in my life with whom I can be vulnerable, who will hold me accountable, yet I need balance where folks aren’t all over me, and allow me to be me, at my pace. For example - In each of us, there are great things and there are quirks and even sin. I have a big, loving, generous heart. But with it, comes a lot of emotion, and some times quick words and overreactions. You don’t get one with a promise you won’t get the other. I’m all or nothing, guys. But trust me that I know this about me and will seek God in handling of all my reactions. Don’t be so darn critical! Let’s not forgot love.

On these thoughts on family, friendship, community, loving one another, the scripture is endless! And you know most of the good ones, so these are my thoughts… and if you need scriptural proof, I dare you to go research it! You’ll be overwhelmed.

Sooooooo……….

Other people find the balance, between activity and relationship, play and intensity. Lots of people around the world are having wonderful, deep authentic friendships w/o feeling drained, exhausted and overstretched. Is balance possible in DC? I have to think so. I have to think God has a way. I pray we ask him more readily how to change things, how to change us, so that we can really be kingdom thinkers, not just rats on a wheel. Will you pray this with me today?

Father God, you made us first and foremost to love you. Then you told us to love and serve one another. I confess, that somewhere along the way, I’ve gotten caught up in the world, the hectic pace of DC, the inability to say no, the failure to listen to your voice and discern in which activities and relationships to partake, and from which I should abstain. Father, help all of us to slow down. Help us to think of your way, how Jesus lived. He was a busy and intentional man. Yet he made time for you first. He never feared being alone; he made time for you and he got time away with the people you called into his life. He had deep authentic relationships. He was committed to these men. Help us to learn how to do this. Help us to focus, make wise decisions, and cut back as needed. Give us rest, Lord; real rest… rest that refreshes the soul at its deepest levels. Point out to us anything in us, our scheduling, our commitments, our social life, that does not glorify you or keeps us from being truly successful in the right activities and relationships. Quiet us enough to hear you. Give us strength to listen and make changes as needed. Be our guide. AMEN!

The Fruit of the Spirit Part 5 - Peace (original posting date 2/28/07)

2007-05-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

As I contemplated the use of "peace" in the Galatians verse, it was difficult to discern whether this refers to internal peace (a sense of peace deep in our hearts) or an external peace (a unity found between individuals). Then I realized it didn't really matter. The other fruit of the spirit speak both to internal character traits as well as our external behavior, so it seems legitimate that either context could be correct and be evidence of good fruit, a tight walk with God.

The internal peace that we find is rooted in the proceeding two components of this verse. If we realize God's love, and we're committed to loving others, if we have joy in our hearts, when we're full of contentment from trust in Christ and his character, we can be at peace. There is no worry that should overcome us. As Christ fills us up, we can release the troubles of this world. As I've already spoken much on faith, which helps generate this fruit of peace, I'm today going to focus on peace between brothers and sisters in Christ.

Even when we are tenderhearted toward one another, it is possible to stumble into conflict. We bring perceptions, pasts, expectations, habits, fears, and needs into each of our relationships. It takes time for imperfect people to get to know one another and learn to navigate these waters. In group dynamics, corporate theory often speaks of "Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing". Storming is the difficult phase of opening up and inadvertently stumbling into misunderstandings. Norming is the beautiful process of caring enough to work through it. Once you know one another, it may get easier, but our sinful nature still causes hurts and misunderstandings. My question to you is… in your relationships, when the going gets tough… do you walk out or do you work it out?

God calls us to peace. We are to live in harmony with one another. There may be people we're not called to be best friends with, but none the less, are our family in Christ. It may be difficult to come to terms with people very different than us or who have hurt us, but it's not ok to give up on relationships. It's not ok to get nasty because someone was nasty to me. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to figure these things out, no matter how painful, time consuming or exhausting the process may be. Don't get me wrong. I believe in healthy boundaries. But I think some of us, me included, give up long before it's an issue of boundaries. We give up just b/c it's hard. That's not an acceptable response in God's economy b/c you know these things just fester. We are called to reconciliation. God is all about relationships – harmonious, complete and healthy relationships. Unreconciled conflict hurts the entire body of believers.

"Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:14-15

""Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23-24

Is there anyone with whom you're living unreconciled? How might you go about fixing this?

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:17-18

This verse always strikes me. The phrase "as far as it depends on you" is quite powerful. It reminds me that though I cannot control another person, I need to do all I can to reconcile.

I just finished the most amazing book, The DNA of Relationships by Gary Smalley (Tyndale House Publishers, September 2004). It may be the most challenging book I've ever read because no book has ever made me think so deeply on why I react in relationships as I do, whether it is friends, family, coworkers, or in dating situations. I highly recommend this book to EVERYONE who seeks healthy relationships. It's given me incredible insights and the power to make changes.

What I have come to understand most from this book are the triggers in my life. There are things I fear, baggage that I'm carrying around, that cause me to react in certain ways. These are hidden buttons, deep in my heart, that lead me right into conflict when pushed, with little or no notice.

Smalley speaks of the "Fear Dance". There is always something in us that we fear and this thing causes us to react when we feel threatened. The issues we think we argue about are rarely the real issue. It's about our fears. The issue or how it's handled, feeds into our fears. Though these can vary person to person, Smalley boils down that most women's primary fear is detachment and most men's is being controlled. It's that old love and respect thing. Women want to be loved, cherished, and made to feel safe and valued. Men want to be respected, honored, to feel strong. Do you see how basically biblical this is? Scripture says "Wives, submit to your husbands." In other words, give them respect. God tells us women to do this because, by God's design, this is who man is and what he needs. Then it says "Husbands, love your wives." God created us ladies to need love. It doesn't say "love your husband" and "respect your wife". Not that we shouldn't do this, but it's secondary to the primary need. For example, I like to be respected, but it's because it makes me feel loved. Women are relational. Men are more tactical. It's the beauty in how we complete each other. The quicker we realize this, the quicker we'll reduce the conflict in our lives.

Check this out: A woman feels her guy doesn't understand her. He's maybe not spending enough time with her or trying too hard to fix her. She reacts emotionally in a manner to try to manipulate him to get what she wants. He feels controlled and becomes more stubborn. Either his words become more hurtful to manipulate her or he withdrawals further to free himself from her grasp. She grows more hurt and the fear dance is in full swing. It may also begin the other way. The guy feels he's being unduly challenged, digs his feet in and begins the game, etc., etc. Sound typical?

Now just to be clear, these lessons don't just apply to male/female relationships. I look back on past conflicts with a roommate. Do you know that almost a 100% of the time, at the end of the day, it was because one or both of us wasn't feeling loved by the other? It was rarely really about the mess, the dogs, or the rent. Those situations made one or both of us feel detached, not cared for, and one would begin to withdrawal. Well, that would often trigger the other to withdrawal. Before we knew it, we were in a full-on fear dance. Some times it would take us weeks to realize the basis of our conflict was that we missed each other!

In order to overcome the fear dance, Smalley says we need to learn new dance steps. We need to learn 1) The Power of One (take personal responsibility), 2) Safety (to create a safe environment, some times even by accepting other's walls), 3) Self-care (to take care of ourselves; we react more when drained), 4) Emotional Communication (to listen from the heart and give the benefit of the doubt), and 5) Teamwork (to adopt a win-win policy where both parties feel good about the outcome). Again, for details on each of these, I strongly encourage you read this book; I can't cover it all here. But I will tell you how I'm learning these new steps.

Several weeks ago a friend came to me for wisdom on handling some conflict. She wasn't sure if she should confront her friend or just create some space. The Lord pressed on my heart three questions to ask her: 1) If you merely back away, will she notice, and if so, is this fair without explanation? 2) Without working this through, will you honestly be able to view her and love her the same as before? 3) If this rift is sensed by others, how will it impact those around you and the dynamics of your little community?

This gave her a lot to think about. She could get stuck in the fear dance or choose new dance steps. I wanted her to listen to the other woman's heart, create a safe environment, and come up with a win-win. Funny thing is… speaking that gave me a lot to think about too.

It was ironic that she'd come to me, because I was struggling with a similar situation with one of my friends. I had feared approaching my friend, but I realized that I was not loving my friend by avoiding her. In fact, I was being just as disrespectful as I accused her of being. Some times we wish we could just let things go, hope our pains subside, but if they linger more than a day, they probably need to be talked out. Our silence isn't doing anyone any favors.

"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." Ephesians 4:25-27

To love my friend, I had to first purify my heart. Through this process, God helped me remember more of her heart and take her feelings into consideration even over my own. In remembering the beauty of her heart, I realized she hadn't set out to hurt me. This completely changed how I approached her. I proceeded not with the goal to prove my point, but to reconcile. Sure enough, she had no idea she'd hurt me and she felt terrible. She apologized, I accepted, and we moved forward. I didn't continue to dwell on what she'd done, but moved on to encourage her, affirm her, and reassure her all would be ok.

We all have choices to make. Our words can hurt or heal. Historically, I've been pretty temperamental. I liked to get my way, I didn't like to be hurt, and I made sure everyone knew this in my words and behavior. Yuk! I'm so thankful God is now teaching me new dance steps, because it's revolutionizing my relationships!

It snowed Sunday. A friend asked me to join her for church. Because of the roads, we were incredibly late. I don't like to be late, especially to church. It wasn't her fault; it just was what it was. I had a choice to make. I could be frustrated that we were late and go into a sour mood… or I could look at it as additional quality time to spend with my friend as we drove. When we returned to the car after church, she apologized for us being so late. I told her it was fine. Knowing she'd be sketical… I went on to tell her of the choice I'd made. I'd chosen to just enjoy my time with her, to love and affirm her. Do you have an idea how this blessed her?

That night I had to have a difficult conversation with another friend. I'd had my feelings hurt earlier in the week, but I knew that it was not intentional. Knowing the heart of the person (pure and kind), I didn't want to bring it up at all, but my pain was lingering. With prayer, I realized that lying about my feelings was unfair and no way to treat someone I consider a very dear friend. So we talked.

Before I tell you what happened, I want to tell you important changes God made in my heart first, that likely entirely changed the outcome of the conversation. Because of reading the DNA book, I choose to spend HOURS allowing God to sort me out first. He reminded me I control my emotions, no one else. I decide. If I struggle with fear, it's between me and God. I cannot blame another for my stuff. I can communicate how something may have triggered me, but reconciling isn't just about being heard and getting my feelings fixed.

By the time we spoke, my primary goal was for both of us to walk away encouraged and feel successful in this situation. I chose first and foremost to respect and lift him up, thank him for his care, and acknowledge the beautiful intent. I knew if I reacted negatively out of my fear, I would be tearing down. If I didn't leave him whole, in fact better off than before, I would be the real loser. I would not only have lost the opportunity to pour into another, but would likely have caused more hurt and confusion. I used my new dance steps and he came back and COMPLETELY blessed and encouraged me in so many ways. Not to mention our relationship is so much stronger for having been open and honest, listening and loving on one another.

I'm still learning. A few small successes don't make for a perfect communicator, but with God's help, I can continue to grow in my ability to live not just in peace, but abundantly. So can you.

This past Sunday morning, Jim Supp spoke on sowing and reaping. Great sermon if you want to check it out. But the key take away for me was this: If I want to reap healthy relationships, I need to be continually sowing encouragement, love, respect, and validation. If I sow anger, frustration or selfishness, these behaviors will come back to me in these relationships, sooner or later. We all just need to be affirmed. And when we're affirmed we're free to keep our hearts open and continue to give to one another. If we close our hearts, we enter the fear dance.

We can't control other's thoughts, feelings, actions. But we have full control of our own. Will you decide to live in peace today? Will you break the cycle of the fear dance? Would you like to leave your next conflict with both of you feeling encouraged, affirmed and better than before? Ask God how to handle your own heart first. Process with him AND THEN reach out to your brother.

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." 1Thess 5:23

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-6

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9

Father God, John 13:35 reminds us that all men will know that we are your disciples, if we love one another. That's not always the easiest thing to do in our imperfection. We misinterpret, we don't communicate well, we're selfish and we sin. But you tell us when we fall down to be reconciled. Two are better than one, and we are all the body of Christ. Give us insights to our own triggers so that the enemy can't as readily mess with us and our relationships. Help us to be continually renewing our mind and taking every thought captive, not acting and reacting out of fear, but acting out of love. Your perfect love drives out all fear. I pray for each person reading this. Heal any broken relationships. Soften hearts and open doors. Let us value relationships and fight for them, no matter how difficult. Its impossible for us to love one another if we don't reconcile conflict. And healthy relationships are the most tangible expression of your love that we can share. AMEN.

Dealing with Disappointment (original posting date 1/4/07)

2007-05-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

In the last many months, I’ve written a lot about faith… an awful lot about faith. God has stretched me in this area in the last year more than you could EVER imagine. And I’m happy to say, that I am more assured of his love, and therefore more able to trust him, than ever before. I’m confident in who He is, who I am, and that His will, His ways, and His methods are best. He is loving me, providing for me, and protecting me… every moment of every single day. The problem is – he never guaranteed I would hurt any less. He only promised he’d be with me through it.

Many of the situations that troubled me six months ago, even a year ago, are still unresolved. They have simply become a duller pain. I have, as Paul writes, learned to be content in all circumstances. I’ve learned to live in joy and have lots of fun, regardless of any current pain, longing, or frustration in my heart. I hesitated to write this blog, because it is certain to be my most vulnerable ever. But it occurred to me, that it is important for me to be real and authentic in my blogs. I know that many of you are struggling with disappointments, let downs, and broken hearts. If I only write about faith, about when I’m strong, then I fear when you are feeling weak, you may feel like you’ve failed. And that’s most certainly the farthest thing from the truth.

In spite of my new found great faith, my apparent strength, there are times that I deal with deep disappointment. I don’t understand what God is doing. I don’t understand why he won’t seem to act on things that I know are well within his will. I don’t always understand the “wait” message b/c I can see no progress in the details. My greatest prayers in the last year have been around him moving profoundly in the lives of others or moving in my heart, to be more perfectly fixed on him (and not distracted). I sit in my room and I yell “God! Why won’t you do something?! Why don’t you change this?!” And yet, it seems nothing changes. Don’t get my wrong, when I think of Alyssa, when I think of Alan, I know he moved last year and he answered some great prayers. But where I once had confidence in those as Ebenezer stones, I return to doubt again that he’s simply choosing not to move on these others, choosing not to heal, and I don’t get it. At times, I’m so sad, frustrated and worried sick, that there have been nights I have not slept at all. There have been countless others, where I’ve cried myself to sleep. I go to sleep praying and I wake up praying.

Even as I write this, I’m trying to figure it all out, trying to figure out what God is doing… trying to figure out why he’s doing it this way. But all I hear in my head is “My child, rest in me. Stop trying to figure it all out. You simply can’t. Just continue to trust. And come to my feet and find comfort.”

On Christmas Eve morning, the church I visited was not in the plans… but was evidently exactly where I was to be. The pastor’s primary point was that God moves us through our struggles. He is always by our side, in the pain, in the frustration, in the disappointment. We don’t have to be strong. We have to be real. We have to talk this stuff through with God and let him comfort us. God promised to be with us, no matter the circumstances. He WILL NOT leave our side.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

“The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."” Exodus 33:14

On Christmas morning, I walked into the den to see a bird trapped on the porch. He was flying anxiously around. He was beating his wings against the screen, which certainly was wearing him out, if not causing him harm. I walked out to try to catch him so I could set him free. I caught him once and he persistently broke out of my hand. He didn’t understand I was trying to help. The second time, I was even more gentle. He let me get him and I took a moment to soothe him, before letting him out the door. I heard God say to me: “This is you and me kid. You can flap your wings all you want. But it won’t be until you stop and let me pick you up, that I can really comfort you and then set you free.” God needed me to admit my sadness and disappointment, come clean with my situation, if you will, before he could really give me the comfort I so needed. While I was trying to be strong, doing it my own way, flapping so hard, he could not take hold of me.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God” John 14:1a

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

On the 28th I woke up back in Virginia and began to write this. I felt the world crushing me. It was then that I was able to admit to God that in spite of my strength, I was really hurting. And it was then, that he graciously took hold of me and set me free. I cannot even explain this last week to you all. All I can tell you is that I’m amazed at how when we “fold”, God gives us everything we need. It hasn’t been any one thing… its been a pile of amazing things, amazing conversations, amazing people, and a lot of just plain, simple, fun. God knew what I needed to get my through. I couldn’t try any harder. Frankly, I couldn’t just be more spiritual, pray more, praise more, or any of those “typical” things or godly formulas. I needed to rest. I needed to have fun. He let me. In fact, he brought it right to me in cool and unexpected ways. God just needed me to cry out and let him come to me in comfort. The one thing he asked, the only thing he asked, was to acknowledge it as his and get back on board as quickly as possible. Now I’ve moved into 2007 full of optimism. I can’t stop grinning. I’m more in love with the Lord than I was a week ago. And I’m entirely on fire, grasping at every bit of scripture, poignant song, and blessed conversation I can get my hands on.

“Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue.” Psalm 66:8-10.

“He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” Job 8:21

“Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.” Isaiah 49:13

“Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.” Jeremiah 31:13

Did God fix everything last week? No, not at all (at least not to my knowledge). Will he fix it soon? Or will dealing with it at least get easier? I sure hope so… but there’s no guarantee. All I do know for sure is that God will be with me in it. He’ll let me cry all I need to. He’ll let me scream all I have to. And there will be no penalty when I express these emotions to him, because he loves and wants all of me. He wants me to be real with him, because that’s how our relationship will continue to be real and develop. That’s how he’ll refresh me and allow my love for him to deepen.

Where are you hurting today? Can you admit to God your frustration, your disappointment? It’s ok to do that. It’s only then that God can get close enough to you to really comfort you.

Father God, I praise you that you actually LONG to comfort us. You take our pain and you replace it, filling our hearts with song. We only need come to you. Give us the strength to be real with you in times of heartache. May we draw closer to you, not run and hide in our disappointment. Thank you for all you’ve done for me this week. I’m so grateful. Lord, I pray for those who read this that are hurting today. Comfort them too. If you can’t answer their prayers quite yet, give them what they need to hold on. Fill them with your love. Help them persevere. We know you promise this and you always keep your promises. We love you, Lord. AMEN.

My birthday is tomorrow and I’m so blessed to have so many of you sharing it with me…..

What is “Beautiful”? (original posting date 10/18/06)

2007-05-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

The concept of true beauty is something I've been thinking on now for several months and trying to write about for almost as long. It's a difficult concept because we are so apt to fall into the definitions of the world. We feel good when we look good and we are insecure when we feel we don't make the mark. I hear this again and again. I see this again and again, in females and males alike. Our insecurities are rampant. Some times we hide because we feel so badly. Some times we flaunt too much to get attention, the physical validation, we so desperately need. It makes me quite sad, because God never intended us to struggle so deeply about our personal appearance and live in fear of the judgments others might make based on it. We spend hours in front of the mirror trying to look just right. We take photo after photo to be sure we can post the perfect one to MySpace. We worry about beach trips and bathing suits.

I thought about this a lot more around Labor Day weekend. I went to the beach with 60 people. There's nothing more terrifying than spending a week in a bathing suit if you're not ok with your looks. That's how I felt last year. This year, however, I actually looked forward to it; I was excited about how I looked. I felt good about myself and my body. And you know what? People really responded. I have had so many people tell me how great I look and how beautiful I am in the last few months, that I'm starting to get a swollen head. The funny thing is - I know it's not just my looks they're complimenting me on. In fact I venture to guess that's less than half of it. The change they see in me is beyond my looks. It's the confidence, the peace, the joy. I look at pictures of me now and hardly believe it's me. I have always felt ugly. Now, I look and feel more beautiful than I have in at least ten years. But that's not what blows me away - its how beautiful, wonderful, and cherished I feel on the inside, because the beauty of God is alive in me.

"One thing I desired of the Lord, that I will seek after; to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple." (Psalm 27:4)

Beauty is often equated to perfection, perfect figures, skin, eyes, hair, etc. But true beauty can only be found in God's perfection. It is his perfect character that is beautiful. It's his love, his graciousness, his holiness, his humility, his gentleness, his peace... and so much more, that make him beautiful. It is what draws us to him. Likewise, when we exemplify his character in our lives, we become beautiful. All that is of God is good. All that is good is beautiful. As we draw closer to Christ, we become more beautiful. As we move further away, the ugliness of the world and our own sinful nature can take control rendering us ugly.

"And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us." (Psalm 90:17)

John and Staci Eldridge wrote a book called "Captivating" that I read this past winter. It's about the heart of a woman and how above anything else, we long to be loved and called beautiful. I highly recommend this book, especially for any woman who struggles with self-esteem. It talks about what makes us truly beautiful, truly captivating. It further defines beauty like this:

"A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest, trusting God because she has come to know him to be worthy of trust. She exudes a sense of clam, a sense of rest, and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort. A woman of true beauty offers the grace to be and the room to become. In her presence we can release the tension and the pressure that so often grip our hearts. We can also breathe in the trust that God loves us and he is good."

The origins of beauty are found in the very essence of God. Beauty is about God and our relationship to Him. It's about our ability to grasp His love for us, trust His character and begin to live out His character in our own lives. Have you ever been around someone with this inner peace and calmness? It draws you in with such strength, because with these kinds of people, you feel like you can be anything in the world… but need to change nothing at the same time.

In March, a received some news that absolutely leveled me. It took me so off guard and hit me with a pain so profound, that I had no idea how I would handle it. Everything I believed to be true had just changed. Everything I'd hoped for had just gotten out of reach. But over the next few days, God would amaze me in my own response, because I had learned to trust Him.

I wrote this to a friend:

"You see, my whole life, I've wrestled with not feeling beautiful, not feeling worthy, something too awkward to be loved by my peers. It aches. Some times I think I feel that way b/c of my weight. Some times I think I hide behind my weight b/c if I was thin and the world still rejected me, I'd have nothing to blame it on. Maybe that's why it's peeling off now... b/c I know who I am, as a woman and a child of God. I don't need the mask. The quote from Captivating (above) impresses on me what real beauty is anyway. It's not just our outward appearance. God doesn't look at outward appearances, he looks at the heart. Problem is, the first time I read this, my heart still sunk because I still didn't fit the bill. It made me sad... because I desperately wanted to be that kind of woman. Last night you said to me that you hoped too that I was encouraged and felt better about our conversation. I didn't really respond, b/c frankly I wasn't sure. I was so thankful that I had blessed you... and our conversation did bless me... but I didn't know if I really felt better or not, until right now. Last night, everything I said, everything I felt with my whole heart, showed me that I've become that woman! God has worked an amazing work in me and I am becoming exactly who I want to be... who He wants me to be. A woman who is beautiful b/c of Christ's work in her life... and one who is able to share that blessing with others."

I realized that day, that I had become beautiful, not because of the improvements in my physical appearance, but because of the improvements in my soul. By spending so much time at the feet of my heavenly Father, I'd come to trust him. So that when something hard was thrown my way, I was still able to be at peace and at rest. I was able to give to another person a profound gift of unconditional love, acceptance and support. I was able to exude God's compassion and strength. This kind of beauty is contagious. This kind of beauty changes lives. And over time, God would use this news to change my life in positive ways, growing my faith, my hope, my trust to whole new levels... making the news not an issue at all.

It's a tricky thing though to stay beautiful. Again, I'm not talking about our waistlines and our hair, face and clothes. But to exude that confidence, that calm, that rest, that ability to look outside ourselves to comfort others. It's a struggle! The world tries to take it away from us every day. I know I'm more apt to react out of emotion than out of Christ, so I continually have to stop, take a deep breath, and sit at the feet of the cross before I react. It's that time with Christ that enables me to be beautiful. In the last couple of weeks, I've spent more time than normal in quiet, just focusing on Christ in worship and prayer, because I needed God to recharge my batteries. Oh the world of difference its made!

When I let the world take its toll on me - what others say, my hectic day, my own doubts, fears and wants - I get uglier again. But when I focus on Him and let His character flow through me, I'm at peace. The circumstances of my life have hardly changed at all in the past year, but I've completely changed. Though it's been a wild ride, God continues to mold me and I become more beautiful, on the inside, each day. I trust my heavenly Father and that's made me beautiful. Ah… if we would only spend as much time on our inner beauty as our external beauty, I think we'd be surprised how beautiful the world begins to see us. We so often focus on all the wrong things.

A guy friend recently shared his belief on the beauty of women: "I may look at a girl and think she's cute, attractive, pretty, maybe even alluring, sexy… but until I know her heart, I'll never know if she's truly beautiful… someone I'd want to spend time with." How blessed I was to hear a guy utter these words! I think as women, we allow men too much control over our self-esteem based on our looks. But there ARE good men who are looking for the right thing. Take the best care you can of that temple God gave you, but wait for a man that loves you for your inner beauty above all else. Don't sacrifice your soul fretting over what won't last anyway.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:14)

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"" (Isaiah 52:7)

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful." (1 Peter 3:3-5a)

Father God, I know you have entrusted me to an earthly body that I should take care of. Help me to do that. But even more so, you are concerned over the condition of my heart and my character. I am so thankful for your faithfulness. You are so worthy of my trust… you prove it to me again and again each day. And each time I take a step of obedience and trust you, you blow me away in how you play out each circumstance. Even now, you are working out so many things; I have no need to fear or worry, but only be excited and full of joy at all of it. It is this heart connected to you that makes me beautiful… even though that beauty may show in my face.

Lord, I pray for all who read this, especially the women. Help them to feel in the depths of their soul how much you love them and how beautiful they are… they are fearfully and wonderfully made. If there is work you want to do on their hearts, challenge them in that area. But if they fret too much over the external, relieve them of that stress and give them peace. You love us and call us beautiful. You delight in us. You are most pleased when we're satisfied in you. Help us to freedom, where that is enough. AMEN!

Faith of Greater Worth than Gold (original posting date 11/5/06

2007-05-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

“These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:7

This past week I’d planned to write a blog on spiritual goal setting, but God had other plans. Many of you know I don’t take these blogs lightly. I pray, I research, I read… and see how the Lord leads. This week, everywhere I turned were more messages on faith. Though I’ve covered this topic already numerous times, it appears God felt I had more to learn and maybe you do too.

I’m currently studying 1 Peter. John McArthur also spoke on sections of this book this week. I was especially struck by 1 Peter 1:7 (above). Let me share it with you in context:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” (1 Peter 1:3-9)
Peter is reminding the scattered church that the gospel message is that Christ died for our sins. But too that he was raised from the dead, and through his resurrection, those that believe, have the hope for salvation, a beautiful inheritance as God’s children. Wow. We could stop there and camp for hours, but let’s move on to the faith part.
He goes on to say that it is by faith we are shielded, protected. Nothing in this world can steal our inheritance. We will, however, have to suffer grief and trials. And yet, we can rejoice – it’s through these trials that our faith is proved genuine. Faith must be tried to be proved genuine. How can you know to what level you are able to trust God, until you’re pushed to the limit?
Like fire refines gold, trials refine us. They stretch us. A refined product is much more valuable than an unrefined one. Refining fire removes all impurities. But even gold can eventually be destroyed. Not faith though – and its worth much more to God than gold. Our faith, our trust, is the most valuable thing we have to offer God. This is VERY important to understand
In addition, trials overcome in faith result in praise, glory and honor. McArthur laid it out like this: Trials are not for us to prove to God what we’re made of. God’s knows what we’re made of and the extent of our faith and loyalty to him. They’re for God to prove to us, what we’re made of, when we trust him. In trials, yes, we often panic and doubt God, but we also doubt ourselves. Without Christ, we may not survive a trial unscathed. But with him, we can achieve amazing things. Do trials cause you to run to God or run away from God? Do you have faith that can pass the test? If you look back and feel like you’ve failed this test before, don’t be discouraged; we’ll come back to this.
Verse 8 talks that our faith is based on the beauty of our love for Him. “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” This is faith in action. We believe in what we do not see. We trust and we obey. The amazing thing is, on the other side, God often reveals himself in such as way, that it all makes sense. We’re filled with joy because we are saved and in a deeper relationship with Christ than before.
“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
Why is faith required to please God? It’s simple: Because God doesn’t stop at asking us to do or be the ordinary. He doesn’t just ask us to overcome little things. He asks the extraordinary – the things that without him seem impossible. If we can’t trust him, we won’t act and we’ll never be able to see all he can do in and through us. We won’t experience all God has for us. We’ll get stuck.
Let’s consider the end of this verse. It speaks to the rewards we’ll receive if we earnestly seek him. This reward is a greater knowledge of him and a growth of our faith. We will also achieve eternal rewards for our obedience prompted by this faith. Are you earnestly seeking God? Are you truly pursuing him? I’m not going to get legalistic on you, but if you’re not spending time with him, in some manner of prayer, study of his Word, and worship, you’re not making an effort to get to know him. And how can you trust one you don’t know? Love, faith, and obedience go together. You will pursue one you love. You want to spend time with this person, get to know them, allow them to know you. As you come to know them deeper, you trust them more. When you trust them, you listen to them. When you listen to one another, trust and love grow more.

“"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." John 14:15-21 << note: all of John 14 is awesome! >>
Faith does not come to us passively. We have to pursue God. And we have to obey his commands. If we love God, we will obey him. As we obey him, we see how he is worthy of our trust. As our trust grows, our love grows… and it becomes easier to obey. It’s an ongoing cycle of relational growth. No relationship can survive without love and trust. A passive relationship is doomed to die. But one where two who love pursue each other, this is destined for eternity.
I shared Mark 9 a few weeks ago. Matthew’s parallel account speaks a bit more at the end about faith: “Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, "Why couldn't we drive it out?" He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."” Matthew 17:19-20

Faith has to start somewhere, even if it starts small. Just decide to believe. I look back on the past year and I’ve had some victories in regard to the “faith test”. I’ve shared some of them with you. But I’ve also failed to believe at times. I’m shared this with you too. Failure to trust God is rooted in pride. So as in all sin, repent, leave the past behind and move forward. So what if you failed in faith yesterday? Tomorrow is a new day.

We must come to believe the unseen. And we must trust even when we don’t understand. I’ve mentioned this in many a blog. I’ve even spoken that we need to hold fast, fight our unbelief, when things even seem to be getting worse. Today I was challenged with one more dynamic – do not cease belief, even when wicked men are succeeding in their ways. Dr. Charles Stanley spoke this morning about the apostle Stephen. Wicked men put him to death. But God used this act to prompt the other disciples out into the world and the Gospel began to spread like wildfire. God uses both the righteous and the lost to accomplish his tasks. He is in control of ALL things.

Faith goes beyond common sense. It believes the unimaginable is possible in Christ. It may even mean being obedient, when what is asked seems the farthest from logical or far beyond our limits. Faith is not a natural thing because faith asks of us the unnatural. But if we are ever growing in faith, we are ever able to be molding by Christ. In this posture, the extent to what God can do with our lives becomes boundless.

What would you do differently tomorrow, if you woke up with a little more faith than you have today? Or what might you be able to let go of if you trusted God just a little bit more? I’ve come up with a few things for my own life. I challenge you to figure it out for your life this week – and act.

Lord Jesus, each day help me to trust you more. Grow my faith in such a way that I obey without hesitation, so you can use my life to accomplish your will. Help me to move when I’m to move and stand still when I’m supposed to wait. May all I do give you glory. I rejoice in all you’re doing. May I ever pursue you, to know and love you more deeply. May I never become too discouraged or too busy that I cease to spend time at your feet. Calm my heart when it grows anxious.

I pray the same for those that read this. May they pursue you with all their heart, as to continually grow in knowledge of your character and to know that you are worthy of their trust. Knock down any barriers in their relationship with you. Remove any obstacles to their pursuit of you, anything holding them back from a greater faith. You know the weight on each of their hearts, Lord. Meet them where they are and fill them with that unspeakable joy, revealed as their faith is proved genuine. Father, I thank you for how you love us. May we respond with the faith so dear to you. AMEN.

Are You Worth Fighting For? Overcoming Insurmountable Obstacles and Addictions (original posting date 8/29/06)

2007-05-13T08:13:00.000-07:00

I have been overweight almost my whole life. I have tried to lose weight, and failed, time and time again. In October, something in me just changed and I returned to Weight Watchers. Saturday I weighed in to find that I’ve now lost 51.8lbs. Wow. I’ve lost over 50lbs and three clothing sizes in the last 10 months! I look and feel better than I have in 10 years. They asked me to speak, to offer encouragement to others. All that came to mind was… “You have to fight for it.”

I shared that in the past 10 months I’ve stumbled time and time again. I’ve possibly had as many setbacks as victories. But I keep pressing on toward the prize. I know who I want to be. I want to get it right this time. As I drove home I pondered on what has really made the difference this time. It hasn’t just been discipline or anything else of this world. It’s been the work of Christ in my life, building my faith, my self esteem… and a huge cheering section of close friends, reminding me that in Christ I could do it. You see, I had to love myself enough to want to change. I had to believe God loved me enough, that I could change. I needed other people to remind me of these things, regularly.

The enemy would like nothing better than for us to live in discouragement and despair. To live in the belief that we can’t change frustrates us and paralyzes us to all God could do with our lives. We may be able to see the sin in our lives, but we often hit a wall in thinking there’s no way we can handle it. It’s a sin wall. We need to learn to not only see the sin in our lives, but believe we can really overcome it. Otherwise, all we do is suffer in our secrets and our shame. But the truth is, we’re children of the living God and there is no sin we can’t resist, no obstacle we cannot overcome, no addiction we can’t thwart. Our sin nature is our past, not our present.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

My weight problem is not the first real struggle of life I’ve had to fight to overcome. In 2002, I fought with a fairly serious bout of depression. I have never had to work so hard to be well. There were times that I felt it was just my lot in life to have this thorn and there was nothing I could do to overcome it. Now years later, I am depression free. I can’t guarantee I’ll never suffer from it again, but I haven’t felt “sick” for a very long time. God freed me with some hard work. This is clearly a little different than a straight sin issue, but it still at the time seemed like an insurmountable obstacle. But it wasn’t.

We need to believe in God’s power to transform. We need to fix our eyes on him, not on our sin. You see, I can’t lose weight by sitting around and thinking about it and trying to will the temptation of food to go away. I have to fix my eyes on something else. If all I think about is my sin, it will actually lead me to sin. I need to think on Christ, in full confidence that he understands my struggle and can free me from my sin, if I give him all I can. The more tightly I’m knit to him, the more of him that is in me, and the greater success I’ll have. A friend gave me a great analogy. You know those jersey barriers they use during road construction? Those ones that create tight tube-like lanes? Well, it’s almost a sure guarantee that if you keep looking to the right or the left in an effort to not hit them, you will. The road is too narrow. You have to focus forward and keep moving. You have to fix your eyes further down the road and then you’ll stay in the center.

Christ died for all our sins, those that are fairly moderate and those that are pretty ugly. I have friends that have struggled with alcoholism, drug addiction, same sex attraction, pornography, eating disorders, fall out from sexual assault, obesity, anger issues, gossip, rampant insecurity, and all sorts of other stuff. But 75% of them are living victorious right now, because of what Christ has done in their lives. I am living victorious because of what Christ has done in my life. The temptations may not have left, but the actions, the behavior, has been transformed.

“But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1 Corinthians 10:12-14

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, or love and of self discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

God meets us where we’re at if we’re willing. Understand there is no sin too great. One sin is not bigger than another. If we are willing to acknowledge it, he can free us.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful life.” 1 Peter 2:9

This is not to say it is easy in any sense of the word. I would not bother to write this if I thought it was easy, but instead I write b/c it’s terribly hard. In fact, it’s almost impossible without God and the loving care, support, encouragement and accountability of his people. But I beg you… fight. We all have secret sin. Whatever your secret sin, fight for righteousness. Fight for yourself. Fight for the very best you can be and all the joy you can experience. Don’t settle for the enemy’s lies… lies that will keep you stuck in shame and discouragement, thinking nothing can ever change. Such thinking has no home in the heart of the believer. You can overcome in Christ. Don’t give up. “Lord, help me overcome my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)

I want to pause for a moment and talk to you about your friends who may be struggling with a secret sin. A lot of people will tell you that people may have to get to the bottom to really deal with their stuff… that you can’t push them but wait until they’re really ready. This may hold some truth to it. But I urge you, as brothers and sisters in Christ, don’t give up too easily. I wish my girlfriends would had pushed me sooner on my weight issue. Not nagged me or criticized me more… but called my using food to deal with life the sin that it is and come along side me to overcome it. This isn’t something the tempted can overcome alone. We need encouragement. We need to be reminded that we’re worth it… and that God is big enough and strong enough and loving enough and his plan perfect enough to bring us true healing and out of our struggle. If you love your friends, you have an obligation to not let them get stuck but to walk with them through it.

Do you believe God REALLY loves you? I’m not sure I always did. I believed he loved everyone else, just not me. Because I didn’t really believe, I didn’t think he could possibly understand, but scripture says that’s terribly untrue.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” Hebrews 4:15

Do not give up. You’re worth it. Are you hearing me? GOD LOVES YOU AND YOU ARE WORTH IT! FIGHT!

“I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let you foot flip – he who watches over you will not slumber.” Psalm 121: 1-3

Ok… read that again…

“I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let you foot flip – he who watches over you will not slumber.” Psalm 121: 1-3

Your help comes form the God who created the heaven and the earth. Do you really think your little temptation, struggle, trial, sin issue is too big for him to handle? Its just not.

I guess I’ll conclude with this. I’m very practical. If I had read this written by someone else, especially if I’d been struggling, wrestling for a while and feeling I’d hit that sin way… I’d ask, but what do I really do, in its most tangible form. Well here it is… you need to fully engage with God, in prayer, worship, study and fellowship. More specifically…
 Confess your secret sin to God, out loud or in writing. Make it real. Get it out in the open, at least between you and God. Have an honest conversation with him on how you feel.
 Acknowledge God’s ability to handle the situation. Praise him for his power to help you overcome. Be determined that with him, you can beat this.
 Identify what makes you vulnerable to this sin, temptation, thought pattern. Ask God what deeper healing my need to occur in you to keep you from this sin (praying it will go away almost NEVER works). Take steps toward this end.
 Get in biblical fellowship. Get in a small group, a church, an accountability group or fellowship group… any place where like minded people, those that love the Lord and believe in his strength, can live life with you. You can’t do this alone.
 Confess it to another believer, maybe your small group. Find someone who is strong and mature enough to pray with you, listen to you and hold you accountable.

Father God, I praise you for how you’ve worked in my life. You are bigger than anything I can throw at you. I am created in your image and can live a holy life, free from the sin that so easily entangles. You want me to live free, not in bondage. You want me to be all I can be, not suffocated by shame and pain. I pray for every person that may read this. I pray you lead them not in to temptation and deliver them from evil. Fill them with courage and confidence. Help them to fix their eyes on you in such a way that resisting the temptation is second nature. Bring to them loving encouragers and accountability partners who will keep them on track. God, I praise you. AMEN.

Dealing with Homosexuality and Other Sexual Immorality (original post date 11/9/06)

2007-05-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

In the last week, as many of you know, Ted Haggard, a prominent Evangelical, admitted to sexual sin with another man. This was a devastating blow to his family and his church, yet no one was more saddened than he. It’s not that he got caught (in many ways he’s glad he did, so out in the open he may find healing). It’s that such darkness overpowered him, leaving him full of personal pain and shame, as he deceived those most precious to him. I was saddened to read his departure letter, as I could hear the pain in his words (www.newlifechurch.org/TedHaggardStatement.pdf). In light of this past week’s elections and questions of marriage on the docket, the political world would like to see this as another failing of the church and proof that we don’t practice what we preach. But we must instead view it as proof that none of us are immune to sin’s grasp and we all need a savior.

How did Haggard get to this place? It was not a struggle that overtook him in a moment’s time. It was a growing pain inside him, years in the making. I’m sure there were times he may have actually enjoyed his sin, as we all do. We’ve all struggled with sin we simply don’t want to give up, because frankly, we like it. But I’m sure there were other times when he wanted to walk away from it, but felt he had no where to turn. I believe the sad state of the church today is that Christians make it IMPOSSIBLE to be honest. We’re terrified to share our sinful thoughts and desires, yet without the help of one another, we will never be able to control them.

Homosexuality is a topic Christians are frankly scared to talk openly and honestly about. We know what the Word of God says. Any sex outside of marriage is sin, including homosexuality, and the wages of sin is death (see: Corinthians 6:9-10, Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27, 6:23). But we struggle with how to put it all together in the lives of real people. One of two things tends to occur: 1) We accept it without question (ignore it as sin) or 2) We condemn it with a vengeance. In the first scenario, we cease to render truth, maybe leaving someone stuck where even they don’t want to be. This is unfortunate. We fail to introduce them to, and encourage them in, the beautiful savior that we all need to achieve true freedom. The second scenario though, is where I think the church has fully let people down. We’ve positioned this sin as far worse than any other. Though scripture speaks of sin against ones own body as especially troubling (1Corinthians 6:18-20), it never states homosexual sin is more severe than heterosexual, nor the one who suffers from such temptation less worthy of God’s love. But in our own judgments, we force people to live in secrets and darkness, because our hearts are too hardened to walk beside them though their struggle. I believe New Life Church was right on, in their handling of the situation. Haggard was removed because the elders had to be true to the Word of God and the expectations for church leadership. But they quickly gathered together a group of godly men to come along side him, to care for him, counsel him, and begin restoration. Bravo!
Do you realize that our judgment often keeps people trapped in their sin? They may be looking for a way out. They may in fact be desperate for someone to hold them accountable, pray with them, and encourage them out of their darkness. But we fail them time and time again. Scripture says: “Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.” (2Corinthians 2:7-8)
People go where they feel accepted, where they can be themselves. The secular world is willing to embrace sin and let people just be who they are. The world doesn’t know any better! Focus on the Family has a great little booklet by Joe Dallas on what should be the church’s response to Homosexuality. At one point, it reads like this:

“It would be wonderful if we walked into our churches though the sanctuary door and could honestly say, ‘Oh, thank God – it’s just you. With you, I can be myself. Here, of all places, I can be vulnerable. I can be authentic.’ Not so we can have our sin legitimized, but so that we can be truly accountable. What is hidden cannot be dealt with. So we would do well to take heed of what James 5:16 says about confessing our faults one to another and praying for one another that we might be healed. All of the healing, I believe, for sexual sin exists within the body of Christ, if only the body of Christ only knew it.”

The Gospel message is NOT that God hates gays. Can we please remember that?! The Gospel message is we are all sinners but that God loved us so much that he sent his one and only son to die for our sins. By grace, through faith, we are saved and returned to right relationship with God.
Our job is not to condemn those who sin, but to share with them God’s love and hope for salvation. We are a vessel of restoration, not separation. How thankful I am that someone chose to share Christ with me, in spite of the sin in my life! Whatever your own sin struggle, are you not grateful that someone opened your eyes to Christ in spite of it… or maybe even because of it?
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13
We must remember too the difference between temptation and sin. As a heterosexual, when I am tempted sexually, that temptation in itself is not sin. We will always be tempted in many ways. It is what I do with that temptation. Do I flee it? Or do I entertain it? Do I continue in fantasy, entertaining lustful thoughts or even viewing inappropriate images? If I do these things, it is surely sin (Matthew 5:28). And if I have sex with a man outside of marriage, this is most definitely sin (1Timothy 1:9-10, 1Thess 4:3-8). There is no difference for someone who is tempted by someone of the same sex. It is a true struggle, just like any temptation that any of us struggle with. We like to believe that something about homosexuality and those that struggle with it is more offensive than other things, but God sees all temptation as redeemable and all sin as abominable. Do you gossip? Lie? Slander? Fornicate? Get drunk? Get angry? Cheat? Steal? They’re all the same.
“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21
“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortionists will inherit the kingdom of God." 1 Corinthians 6:9-10
But in Christ, we are a new creation. Through the Holy Spirit, and through the support of one another, we have the power to overcome all temptations and sin… if we get honest!
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” Galatians 5:22-25
As a new creation, should you not be all the more compelled to share Christ so others might experience God’s love like you do? Do this in pureness of heart, not out of judgment. I know people who struggle with this temptation. I know people openly living in this lifestyle. These are all great people. Do not insult them and others by thinking you are better than them. I just love them, like God loves me. I hope that those that don’t know Christ may come to know him and that those that do are given the strength to continue to fight this temptation each day. I want to lavish God’s love on them, not cause them to feel more insults, condemnation, and shame. They’ve had enough of that. The church must be true to the Word of God, including what God says about homosexuality. But if you allow this to be the only thing that defines a person, then you’ve missed the mark. We need to be humble. We need to realize we too are sinners and God’s response to us has been love. God came to me, God came to you, while we were yet sinners (Romans 5:8).
“This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:22-24
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” Luke 6:41-42
God wants all of his children to come to him. None of us have already been made perfect. So my challenge to you is not to accept sin, but to realize we all have it. Open your heart, and your church doors, to anyone who would want to come in and learn about Jesus. In time, you may be called to hold someone accountable to any sin. Or you may have the opportunity to come along side them to help in restoration. But until then, just let them come. Invite them to come. God accepts us where we’re at and then moves us on in time. It’s so tricky. Remember God is the judge, not you. If he calls on you to confront at some point, so be it, but don’t be so anxious to do so, that you forget love. Remember God’s example to the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11). He said to the crowd, you who are without sin, throw the first stone. And to the woman, he had compassion. He loved her and told her to sin no more.

I felt compelled to write this blog b/c I believe matters such as the Haggard incident call us to examine ourselves in many ways. It asks us to look at our own hypocrisies. It asks us to get honest about our own sin – are we real about it or enjoying it a bit too much? It asks us to look at how we treat others who are found in sin, whether exposed or confessed. Do we really show the grace we’re called to live by? Have you learned to balance truth and compassion?

As always, I’m going to close in prayer, but after that… I’m going to provide some additional resources I encourage you to explore, depending on your situation. Blessings!

Father God, walk with us, as we think on these delicate matters. I pray I proved faithful in my handling of your truth, but that I also fully honored, with due respect and grace, anyone who may be struggling with this issue. You are first and foremost, no matter our situation… no matter our stuff. You take us as we are, with all our bumps and bruises. For those of us that admit we do not fully understand homosexuality… may our hearts be humbled and we be welcoming to all people, NEVER judging. If there is anyone we need to reach out to, in apology or just to come along side, help us to do that. Give us the words. For those that struggle with same sex attraction, help them to come to you too, even if they’re not yet ready to deal with these issues. You just love them no matter what. If they are discontent in their present situation, help them to find freedom in you. Give them the strength to stand strong. Protect them in every way. Bring people into their lives that will encourage them and hold them accountable if they desire such. Thank you, Lord. AMEN.

If any of you have been challenged by this blog and would like more information on what should be the church’s response to homosexuality, I strongly encourage you to explore some of the many resources found on the Focus on the Family website (resources.family.org). I can also try to obtain more copies of the Joe Dallas booklet I mentioned earlier if anyone is interested.

If you struggle with same sex attraction and want a way out, or you have a friend or family member who struggles and you’re not sure what to do, I also encourage you to visit the website of Exodus International (www.exodus-international.org). This sight contains everything from resources, to testimonies, to access to support groups for those struggling with same sex attraction and their families. Joe Dallas’ personal website may also be of benefit (www.joedallas.com). Joe has written numerous books including Desires in Conflict, A Strong Delusion, and When Homosexuality Hits Home.

Marriage, Singleness… and the beauty of being exactly where you’re meant to be (original post date 8/7/06)

2007-05-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to the wedding of two very dear friends. Though wedding parties are often a blast (Jon and Mary’s definitely was!), it’s always the ceremonies that I enjoy the most. I love to hear how God took two individuals and knit them together. I love to hear about how from nothing, God maneuvered two people, to be in the same place at the same time, and through a myriad of circumstances, made their love so deep and His plan so clear, that its impossible to miss it. I love hearing of their love and dedication not only to each other, but to God… because it’s that commitment that will get them through. I love to contemplate the greatness of God, in often overcoming huge obstacles to get two people to a point that they can give their love freely, really trusting in the commitment they’re entering into with one another, with no fear. I love to see the look on my friends’ faces when the speak their vows, so very blessed that in all of creation, God loved them enough, to craft a person so perfectly for them... a person to laugh with, live life with, take care of and be cherished by.

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

I truly believe that most of us were not designed to be alone. It’s not God’s plan. We need people. We need to be deeply known and accepted. There’s something about most of us, even those that find it harder to open up, that keeps us from being wholly satisfied unless at least one person knows us fully and completely… and loves us immeasurably none the less. This is the model of God in our lives. God loves us, knowing all our stuff, more than we can ever imagine. He sees the real us, and still smiles. We long for this in people. We long to give this to people. God created man, but knew he needed woman. And a woman’s heart was designed to long for the one God created her to share a dream with. We see God’s love, through the heart and tenderness of another… the one God has chosen for us.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1John 4: 7-8

I think most of us singles crave to be married. Even knowing that love and marriage is not always as beautiful and perfect as on one’s wedding day (relationships can be darn hard!), we still want it, because we know that such a union, such intimacy, such a profound relationship, is a gift from God. But it’s all about timing… God’s timing (not ours!). Ok, so maybe for our tastes, God’s a bit slow. I look though at a couple like Jon and Mary, and knowing their story, am remembered how perfect His timing is. We all have things God wants to work in us. We have things God knows he needs to do with our lives… either to prepare us for success in marriage… or simply to fulfill another part of his plan right now, that’s more important than us being married.

So here’s my question… Are you married? Never forget the love on your wedding day… and remember, the more each of you focus on God first, the better you’ll be for each other. Are you single? Think about how God might want you to spend your time. One of my pet peeves is singles who spend a crazy proportion of their time trying not to be single. They spend hours on e-harmony or can’t seem to have a conversation in coed company w/o discussing what the other sex is really looking for. If you’re single right now it’s for a greater purpose! Don’t try so hard to change your situation. Believe me, singleness has its perks (ask any married person). Relationships can be really, really hard. They’re worth it, but they’re hard. So if you’re single, go to God and simply ask him: “How do you want me spending this time?” Maybe it’s purely to spend this time deepening in your relationship with him. Maybe it’s to enjoy the gift of your same sex friends and to really invest in those relationships. Those relationships are VERY important. Practice opening up, giving and receiving love and acceptance, with your Christian brothers and sisters. Or maybe you’re being called to spend your time serving right now… in ministry, in missions, in soup kitchens, whatever! Maybe your family really needs your energy and love right now. You won’t always have this time to spend doing all these things. Maybe there are some things about your character you need to figure out, some pains in your past you need to work through, some skills you need to develop in how to give and receive love, communicate, process through difficult things. Do this before you get married (and don’t think you can do it over night as soon as you meet someone!). God’s plan AND timing is perfect. Have no doubts.

As for me… I don’t know what God has planned. I don’t known if God will grow while apart, and then knit back together, two broken hearts, or if there is someone entirely new who will some day enter my life. I trust Him with this part of my life; its too big not to. But in the meantime, I’m so thankful, especially in the last few weeks, for wonderful, fun distractions… the introduction of some new friends (Chris! Julia!) and returning of some old. I’m enjoying singleness while I have it.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12

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Though not from scripture, here are some wise words to live by…
Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong person before meeting the right one so that when we finally do meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for the gift.

Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one that has been opened for us.

Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you have ever had.

Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only one minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks they can deceive.

Don't go for wealth, even that fades away.

Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

Find the one that makes your heart smile : )

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others shoes.

If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go well in life until you let go of past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

--Anonymous

Lord, Bless the Work of My Hands (original posting date 10/25/06)

2007-05-13T08:04:00.000-07:00

I’d always wanted to be a doctor, since as long as I could remember. My heart was drawn to help people. Medicine fascinated me. In 1987, I made a huge decision that would shift the course of my life. As I began to look at colleges, I realized that maybe I couldn’t be a good doctor and a good mom… and I wanted to be a mom more. Not to say that other women can’t do it, but I didn’t feel I could, and wanted to take no chances. Eight years of school and $100K was a lot to only practice for a few years. This decision made sense to me (intellectually and as I prayed) and I proceeded into a career in health administration.

Had I known I would be single at 35, I would have chosen very differently. I simply didn’t know. Have you ever had times in your career where you thought: “Man, how did I get here? This wasn’t part of the plan.” The thing is, God knew. God always knew.

This summer I really wrestled with this. My heart longed to return to Africa, desperately wanting to serve the medically underserved, especially the HIV population and/or teach HIV prevention. As a Public Health professional, I have a deep understanding of this pandemic and the unbelievable impact it is having, and will continue to have, on the African people. This seemed like a noble desire, to return to Africa, and one I was certain God would bless. But I found door after door closing. I didn’t just try one route to go, but played out idea after idea, organization after organization, and it just didn’t work out. I couldn’t help but think that if I were a clinician, not an administrator and educator, this would be easier. I feared I’d made a terrible mistake, a tragic mistake, in the route I had chosen. For those of you that know me, you know I’ve been struggling with direction and contentment in my job for several years now; this seemed like the final blow.

I would come to understand though how badly the Enemy wants us to believe we’re off track when we’re exactly where we should be. Things may not be going as WE planned, but are exactly as God planned. Maybe our dreams were off track… not our steps.

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

God slowly reassured me that his plan is perfect, his timing perfect, and though my job is rarely all I’d hoped for, I am doing his work here, which is far more important. In hindsight I can see year after year, how God has shaped my career and used me in each place. And maybe it’s all timing. Maybe I’ll have an impact more like my dream (here or abroad) in the future, or maybe God will introduce to me an even bigger or better dream. But as for right now, God appears to believe I’m needed here, more than anywhere, and that has never been more evident than this week.

The rain has been falling hard at my company for about two months now: deaths of team members, home fires, car accidents… and then this week, several deaths in Iraq, including the son of a Director I work closely with. There is tragedy everywhere, and other personal suffering I’m not willing to broadcast on the Internet. But time and time again… I’m in a position to lend comfort and assistance. People seem to talk to me.

I have been praying in the last several days that the Lord would help me get my mind off myself and my stuff… to free me up to love and serve others. I prayed for open eyes to see those around me in new ways and be open to any needs the Lord would throw my way. He’s doing it and I feel so blessed. I feel like I’m really good this week. REALLY good. But my heart bleeds for those around me. I’m thankful life goes in waves, so we can carry one another. It is my turn to do the carrying this week. And it is a privilege.

Maybe I’m at my company today… for such a time as this. (Esther 4:14b)

I think back on my life: What if I had gone to medical school? Would I have lived in Europe? Would I have had the time with my family that I’ve had? Would God have used me as he has and taught me all I’ve learned? Would I know any of you? The answers to some of these may still be yes, but my life would be VERY different. Not better or worse necessarily, but different. I’ve lived a great life so far. Maybe I wouldn’t change a thing.

You see… we spend too much time trying to figure out where we’re supposed to work, when maybe we should be focusing more on how we should be working and who we are called to impact in the process. People watch us in the workplace. Yes, that’s a scary thought… often for me too… but they are. Are we working hard? What character are we exhibiting as we work? I know I need to be careful to stay focused so I’m a good steward of my time. I also need to make sure for the sake of a project I don’t run over people. I need to remind myself regularly that I have a bigger boss I must answer to.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24

I used to joke in my 20’s, when I was a volunteer Young Life leader, that youth ministry was my job. My secular work was merely how I paid the bills. Maybe this is true of all of us, to some extent. I mean, in scripture, time and time again, we see those working for the Lord also holding secular jobs to financially support themselves. Paul was a tentmaker and speaks in Corinthians a lot about this. Maybe our secular jobs pay the bills so we can serve in ministries elsewhere. Or maybe our jobs, the people we encounter there, are to be our ministries. Where is God calling you? Live out your call.

“May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.” Psalm 90:17

From time to time, I worry a little that I share too much at work. Maybe I bring too much of my personal life to work. Or maybe I talk about Jesus too much. How silly I’m realizing these sentiments are. God has perfectly wired us for the roles we’re meant to play. By being vulnerable and open with my life, the emotional me, others are drawn to me for a listening ear, wisdom, comfort and even prayer when things in their lives go terribly wrong. When they have questions about religion and the meaning of life, they come to me because they know I will share these things with them, with acceptance, not judgment and pressure. How has God uniquely gifted you? Be who you were meant to be, evangelist, caregiver, protector, among those you work with.

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.” Romans 12:6-8

The wild thing about the workplace… is that there are a lot of people there – a lot of people seeking and a lot of people hurting. Never get so bogged down in the work and climbing that ladder, that you can’t see who’s standing next to you and how God may use you in their life. God’s put you there for a reason. Are you up for the task?

Father God, bless the work of my hands. Help me to be diligent in my work, so I may be viewed of high character. But in the process, help me to remember the people I work with and consistently ask you how you’d like to use me. May I never be so consumed by my own life and worries that I fail to see a blessing you may have me bestow.

I pray for those that read this, that they are able to rest where you have them. Relieve any anxiety their job may bring them. Especially calm them in the area of any lost dreams (even if only a temporary loss). Help them to see what you are doing so they may have confidence that they are right where they should be. Give them the strength to ask you regularly how you want to use them right where they are. God, direct their steps. AMEN.

“My Hope” – David Crowder
Here I am again
In this raging sea
On my knees again
Deep calls to deep
I feel I'm drowning
My arms are
Just too tired to swim
I feel I'm sinking
On my knees again
In the roar of Your waterfall
In the storm of You
May You find me holding on
May You find me true
Chorus:
And I put my hope
And I put my trust
And I put myself in You
In You, Lord [2x]
Bridge:
Wash me clean
Set me free
Hold me close
And cover me
(Chorus)

Carrying One Another’s Burdens (original posting date 12/10/06)

2007-05-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

“Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

One of the most significant calls on Christian community is to care for one another when life gets tough. When a friend or family member is really struggling, or maybe fully suffering, how do we handle it? What does it really mean to carry one another burdens?

As I’ve ridden this roller coaster called life, I’ve both carried others burdens and had times when others have carried mine. I’ve observed others as they’ve attempted to come along side people in times of need. Sadly, you know what I’ve realized? We’re just not any good at it!

I surely don’t mean to sound negative, because we all have the best of intentions – me too. And I’ve seen some successes in the last year. But on a day to day basis, I just don’t think this is something many of us have mastered. More often, I see this…

The person who’s suffering, but…
 Wears so many masks, you’d never know it. This person is more concerned with outward appearances than becoming authentic enough to be made whole.
 Refuses to ask for and/or accept help. This person is too proud, too stubborn, or both, determined to go it alone. They will be resistant and maybe even hostile to assistance.
 Asks too much of others around them. This person wants to be saved by you, when really they need to be relying on God. They know no boundaries and can be very draining.

The person who observes suffering, and
 Walks the other way. This person is too busy and/or self absorbed to notice pain and stop to lend a hand. They’re unavailable and are an impatient listener.
 Tries to play God. This person, Miss/Mr. Fix-it, thinks they have all the answers and too quickly jump in with advice and/or opinion. They may be pushy if you don’t listen.
 Listens only in resentment. This person finds the one suffering a burden and may even make unfair judgments or inappropriate comments in regard to this person’s situation.

Wow… You fall into any of these categories in the last year? I think I’ve fallen into ALL of them.

So how do we improve on this? I think we all want to do this well. What does scripture really say?

There’s something to be said for studying scripture in context. Let’s look together at Galatians 6:1-10 and see what’s on either side of verse two.

“ 1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.
6Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his
instructor.
7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

Read alone, verse two merely implies that I am commanded to carry the burdens of my brothers and sisters in Christ. Yet this offers neither guidance nor limits which leaves the verse open to a myriad of interpretation and questions: What is a burden? How much should I carry? When should I carry it? What if I am already overwhelmed in my own life? It’s when it’s put into context of the text around it, that we see the greater meaning revealed.

Verse one is explicit to the handling of one caught in sin. We are to restore gently. Verse three speaks a warning to arrogance. Verse four then challenges us to look at our own lives and not get lost in comparisons. Verse five concludes stating each of us should carry our own load. Are you more confused or have matters been cleared up? : P Originally, I believed the former, but now, God has revealed to me more clearly what he’s asking.

If we are to be humble and restore others in sin, could not burden be the weight of sin that can fall upon us? Might it be that we cannot stand up under temptation alone? We will have struggles in this life. We need one another for support and encouragement. We need wisdom and prayer. The right person can pour into our lives tremendous strength by their love and acceptance of us at our weakest points. But this does not allow us to evade the responsibility for our own stuff… our past, our present choices and actions, and our future. At then end of the day, we are each fully responsible for ourselves. But the wise man will know there are times he cannot go it alone and the law of love commands us to step up when such a person approaches us. It’s a complex spiritual balancing act.

The second paragraph pulls it further together. If I, in my foolishness continue to live in the world, satisfying my sinful nature, doing things my way not God’s, there will be consequences. If I’ve learned nothing by now, its that I’m not qualified to run my own life. So if I choose to live in rebellion, I better be ready for a rough ride and a lot of frustration, like a man beating himself against the wind. This is about God and me first. I answer to him. He is to be my number one provider of wisdom and strength. But if I acknowledge when I am weak, I can also ask my brother for help. On the other side, I should never cease to be available to my brother and never miss a chance to do good for him when asked (or even before asked). We are a family, and families go out on a limb for one another. You are responsible for you, but I am responsible to you. In doing this though, I must remember that I cannot save or fix my brother, only God can do that. My number one role in my brother’s life may be only to point him lovingly right back to Christ.

I do not want to however, contain this to only sin struggles, as I don’t believe that’s the author’s intent. I believe it starts there, as we’re to strive for holiness. But it doesn’t end there. We are likewise to come along side one another, when any weight is throw at us, too difficult for us to bear alone. This may include heartache, pain, suffering, fatigue, financial challenges, and large tasks.
Exodus 17 offers a beautiful example of “burden-bearing” from the Old Testament…

“The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. Moses said to Joshua, "Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands." So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.” Exodus 17:8-13
Moses was commanded by God to do something. He could not have Aaron or Hur do it for him. It wasn’t their task to do. But when he grew tired, he could ask for help. Aaron and Hur were with Moses. They walked beside him day by day, as we should in Christian community. They were able to see when his hands grew tired. A combination took place of Moses asking for help and Aaron and Hur simply seeing he needed it. And they held up his hands. The three of them together, completed the task… where the weight was too much for one man.

Solomon, often called the wisest man (apart from Jesus) in the Bible, writes this:
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

We’re not meant to go it alone… but there are limitations. Limitations on what we should ask of others and what we should provide for others. I don’t believe there are clear cut rules. There may be some general guidelines, but not rules. Each situation is unique and I encourage you with discernment to seek God on how to handle your particular situations. As I look back though on the last year, I myself have made a lot of mistakes in this area. And sadly, I believe I’ve damaged relationships and maybe even lost one of the most precious people to me. So, what I will conclude with, is what I’ve learned this year, about my burdens and the carrying of other’s.

When I’m struggling or suffering…
 Who do I reach out to first? Do I go to the throne (God) or do I go to the phone (my friends)? Though I’m a very verbal processor, I need to remember to seek God first in all things. I can be verbal and process with him too, alone in my room or through journaling.
 How much of my stuff am I expecting my friends to carry? Is it too much? Am I asking them to be God for me? Are the people I’m leaning on able to carry the weight? It’s important to have honest conversations with my closest friends about boundaries. I must allow them to express when they simply aren’t able to listen or help me at a given time. I must accept and respect this and be thankful for such honesty. I need to learn when to shut up and keep things just between me and God… and/or seek professional assistance.
 Am I being discerning with whom I’m sharing sensitive information? Are the people I talk to wise counsel and trust worthy? It is important to be confident that the receiver of information is able to handle it and provide real godly wisdom. Not everyone is emotionally or spiritually mature enough to handle all matters. The wrong person can make my situation worse through bad advice… or at least cause me additional stress as I deal with them (especially if I don’t take their advice) or feel I have to justify too much. Never forget at the end of the day I must listen to and obey God, not my friend’s advice.
When someone else is struggling…
 Which do I do more – talk or listen? I should be listening much more than I talk. I should be seeking to understand. I should be asking lots of questions. One of the most significant questions I need to ask is… “What can I do for you in this situation?” Through open and honest conversation, I need to determine if I am just to listen, pray, or provide advice. If told to only listen and/or pray, I must respect this and keep my mouth shut, unless I need to specifically, on the prompting of God, confront a sin issue.
 Am I able to balance between loving sacrifice and calling boundaries? Am I available? Am I willing to change my plans to meet a need? Am I paying close enough attention to those around me that they feel loved and supported? If I find that I simply can’t provide them what they’re asking, and I’ve ruled out selfishness as my reason, I need to lovingly express this. I need to provide other alternatives or make compromises. If they’re truly asking too much (it’s not me… its them), I need to have the courage to challenge them back toward God, and/or professional assistance if warranted.
 Do I know when to back off? I need to remember to always give the benefit of the doubt. If I didn’t generally trust and respect those coming to me, they wouldn’t be such good friends. I need to understand that often they are indeed doing all they can. They are processing all they can handle at this moment. Though intentions may be in love, pushing often comes across as disrespect and can cause significant pain to the recipient. Pressure may actually stress them out to a place that they move farther from when you’d like to see them be. Sometimes I need to just pray and let God do his work in them.

Father God, we want to be obedient to your call to love one another. But in that, we also want to do it your way. We want to be able to clearly discern what is your role and what the role of others is in our lives. Likewise, we want to be able to carefully discern the role we are, and are not, called to play in the lives of others. Help us to be able to look outside ourselves to meet needs. Protect us from our own selfishness. But maybe even more so, fill us with your wisdom. Help us to be people who can handle difficult situations and hard information… yet address it in stride, because we are fully leaning on you and your strength anyway, not our own. Thank you God, for your Holy Spirit, who leads and guides us in all these things. May we be good stewards of the promptings he places on our heart. May we be sensitive listeners to him and others. May we also be disciplined in sound communication and honesty, and handle boundaries as necessary. AMEN.